A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:just a question to your great agony uncle and aunts who always helps me on here if i ever have a problem, just a thought, will i ever move in with my man of nearly 2 years, its LDR and we are fully committed see each other as often as we can, and we have talked about being together as a proper couple but we both have a child to our ex partners and its cause of them we cant make that big plunge of a move just yet, when we all get together and we usually stay more at his place, because of one day moving to where he his, feel its better to go to his, more than mine, and he dont mind that, yes they get on, but sometimes have there bickers and fall out, one gets hurt or the other gets hurt and it seems to be my child that is always in the wrong, when sometimes she is not, but i dont like saying cause i dont want to cause friction between me and my man over the kids falling out, i suppose they fall out like real sisters or brothers do, when they get on they get on great, but they cant be trusted together yet, and until they are, then we would move in all together, me and my man are ready, its just the kids, cause really they have to be happy and its a big step for both of them, until we are all getting on happily as a family thats when the big move will take place, i just wish my man would just say right, this is how it is we are moving in together and we will work on the kids, cause i feel its going to be a ongoing thing, so i ask myself will the day come will we ever all move in as a family, i have tried to locate nearer to my man, so that we can all see each other more and the kids get use to each other and have a break now and again from each other, cause his child likes space now and again and my child can be full on dont understand if my mans child dont want to play all the time, buti cant get a house too much to rent or buy, so will this day ever come, my man says it will, but i think it will be a day when we have to sit the kids down and say right this is how it is like i wish my man would do now, but he said until they can be trusted together then we will all move in, i know hes right so i guess i will just have to wait but how long, or do i speak up to him and say its about time we had a chat with the kids and get all this sorted and get on with the life we so long want together, i feel when i am not with him with it been a LDR a lot of days are waisted, and i am not getting any younger please aunts or uncles some advice please thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): THANKS FOR YOUR ANSWERS TO MY QUESTION, i am due to see him again soon, to what you have all said on here especially (so very confused), i am going to have little chat with him, and ask him, are we ever going to move in together, is it ever going to happen, think its time we had a chat, if he says yes and gives me a time of when it will happen, then i will be a happy little chick and we will work towards that day, but if he says no cant see us ever moving in or dont know when it would happen, then i would have to end things and move on, cause i want the commitment not getting any younger and want to be with someone all the time, cant do this distance thing all the time has to come to a end the distance thing, and i dont really want to do that and it will take some heart to let him go, cause of this commitment thing, would be a shame cause he has told me he loves me to bits and i have no worry of him ever leaving me, lets hope when we next see each other he is already thinking the same as me,that its time to move in or set a time when it will happen, i do really hope he his cause i dont really want to have this chat,and dont want to end things i love this man so so much we are so good together he shows me he loves me with actions in all he does for me, would be a shame for us to end what we have, he his such a good catch ticks most of my boxes except the making that commitment move, thanks again for your answers agony aunts
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 May 2011):
 oh please after 2 years of spending time together..they think of each other as Siblings I am sure... what's not to trust?
you give them rules and consequences and they will follow them.
After 2 years... it should be a done deal.
My LDR man and I are together 6 months and we have a plan for him to move to me by the end of the year.
I am selling my home, re-homing my dogs and making it so he's comfortable in my life... after 2 years your man should be doing the same for you.
Kids are adaptable. If he's using the kids as an EXCUSE to not move your relationship forward it's time to fish or cut bait if you want more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): I have to agree with the other poster in saying his excuse for not moving in together is flimsy.
If there is already friction between the kids then you have even less reason to hold your tongue when you think your daughter has been wronged. She relies on you to be her guardian. Don't leave her hanging in the breeze just to keep the peace.
Don't sacrifice your happiness for the sake of peace and don't teach your daughter to do it either.
You're better off not moving in with anyone. At least when things get tense with your boyfriend of his child, you have your own home to return to.
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