A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a beautiful married woman 5 years ago in a restaurant on a Saturday. She was from a neighboring state. We talked and clicked. She was perfect - we fell in love. She has an a**hole for a husband.We stayed in touch and she visits when she can - about 6 times a year for a few hours. I can hardly wait to hear from her. I divorced 4.5 years ago. She told me she will leave her husband when her boys are out of school. The youngest is now a senior. I have dated - no one seriously trying to keep from going nuts. Until last fall I met a girl and we really were close. Had great times. Suddenly my married friend is calling 3 times a day and talking like she's never talked before. I felt like I was doing the single girl I was dating wrong, so I told herand she was devastated and tried to talk me out of waiting for the married lady. What do I do? Do married women ever really leave their husbands ? She says we will be perfect together.
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divorce, fell in love, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Nicky3Tearz +, writes (7 October 2011):
I've personally done it, and I am still with said woman. It may not be what you would call easy, but it's worth it. Only if you truly love this woman. Show her you care, show her you are there for her, stand by her, and love her with everything you have. Dont throw down ultimatums and shit, because that s^^t will just make her stay with her husband to show you that you arent her boss, give her time, splitting with a husband is a hard thing for a woman to do, as she has gotten used to him, even if he is a piece of s^^t. this is just what i did, and now her divorce is underway, and she is in my arms. right where i wanted her to be. now im not advising anyone to go after married women, but if you both are in love, and she is unhappy with her husband, then what can you do. the heart wants what the heart wants. bottom line, tell her u want her to leave him, then give her time and stand by her through it all. trust me it works. it did for me and now me and my girl are happier than ever. we have a little baby girl on the way, and an amazing relationship. just try chillin. in other words, hold ur balls dude, u cant expect it to happen in 1 day, let her do it n stay off her ass about it. hope this info helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): im in the same situation. im in my mid twenties and shes in her early forties. shes married with 2 children, and has been married for 17 years. i cannot stand to be around girls my age because their immature, fickle, self centered, and insecure. she looks much younger, she is intelligent, she is supportive, and i really dont know how to describe the love i feel for her. im a cold calloused person, a borderline sociopath, but she makes me feel emotion. it is ever so hard to let go of somthing that you get a second chance at.
she is, i believe, my second chance at life and love. the problem i run into is that i never get to spend much time with her because her husband is a demoralizing, degrading, lazy b**ch a** pig, and she faithfully does everything he says, but not for herself, for her children. perhaps if i could generate a sh** ton of money i could pay the deuch to leave. i want to see her happy, i want to make her happy, i want her to feel appreciated for once. she knows i am more than capable of being everytrhing she could ever want in a man, but she is scared because she dindnt believe in love or happiness before she met me. she is going to divorce her husbband for herself, but she wont promise me anything. im confused
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): I kind of think that she is stringing you along. I myself have done that in the past so I can just tell. She probably just likes the control that she has over you. It makes her feel good about herself. And if you are wondering what this control is, just think about what you just did. You met a cute girl that you like and pretty much blew it with her for this woman that you have been waiting for five years for.
What you do from here is up to you. I mean I know from experience that guys find this "control" very desirable and you will probably have a hard time letting go of the illusion of having her. She is aware of this and she knows what to say and what to do to keep you at her beck and call.
It sounds like to some extent you like all this because if not, you would have moved on a long time ago. I can't say for sure if she will leave her husband or not, and I think deep down you know the answer to that.
I believe you should live in the moment. So I think what is most important here is for you to decide whether you are happy with the way things are right now or if you want to move on. If you are happy with the way things are right now, then stay "waiting" for her. But if you are not happy or think you could be happier at this moment then maybe you should try moving on.
I personally have never waited for anyone. I think if someone loves me they should love me right now. But I know guys are different. So it is up to you.
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Hi there hun,
This married woman you talk about will leave her husband for herself not for any man trust me on that one, maybe she is waiting for her boys to get older as she wants them to be in a secure family unit.......
I would not leave my husband for any man why risk jumping from one bad relationship to another ay!!!!!!!!
I have just recently finished with my husband but that was for me not for anyone else and there is someone whom I like but I certainly am not going to jump into any relation fast I need me time to sort my life out so if it helps I didn't leave my husband for another man
Hop this helps you hun,
Good luck
Donna x
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Hmm, 'she has an arsehole for a husband'.
Let me ask you have you ever met him, or is this just what she tells you.
Do you really think if she turned round to you and said my husband is a wonderful man and treats me so well, you would be so willing to pursue this? Cheaters say these sort of things so you don't feel so bad doing the dirty it's a kind of justification.
Roles reversed, how would you feel if your wife was slagging you off to another man and seeing him behind your back?
Believe me it's not nice, you have met someone else so why not forget about the women who is in a marriage and pursue the one that is single.
Take care.xx.
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