A
male
age
41-50,
*dumbguy
writes:I wonder if there is any hope, or is that shred of hope I am holding onto just me fooling myself. A friend I have known for ten years recently filed for divorce. About five years ago, our relationship became intimate, then I had to move for work, she went back to her ex-boyfriend, and eventually married him. Since she has filed for divorce she has been with multiple partners ... including me. She recently ended her relationship with one of her partners that she felt closest too in regards to starting a monogamous relationship. When we got back together after we had had sex, she told me that she loved me, and still says that she does. She doesn't want a relationship with me because she does not feel that she can be what I need, and doesn't want to hurt me. I have told her that we can no longer have sex, as my emotions for her are too strong, and I don't want to jeopordize our friendship. While I want to keep her in my life, I do not want to be a false friend, one that is only there hoping for a relationship that will never be, as when she does meet someone it will hurt. I am aware of the "plenty of fish" and have no doubt I can meet someone else, but feel that I have a true connection with her. I also do not wish to abandon someone who I am so close to simply because I want more from the relationship than they are willing to give. please advise
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 to be honest answer to your titled question i don't think she will be more than just a friend.she's said she can't give you a relationship because you are wanting commitment and obviously at this time she can't commit i mean all she really wants is just sex and some fun.it's unfair for you to keep hanging around this woman if she isn't wanting a relationship even though you know you could be soo good for her she clearly doesn't want that at the moment she's obviously not ready.and it's definately unfair for you to wait around until she does want a relationship but then think of this she has been with multiple parnters including you?she's clearly not staisfied with what she gets and just wants meaningless fun.you say you don't want to abandon her because of your great connection then don'ttake sometime out for yourself.gather your thoughts leave her be for a while until you can grasp the friendship without thinking of the hope that there will be something more between you guys.Hope this helps.Chin up.x x X x x
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