A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have a best friend whom I am very concern about. She is in a possessive relationship. She is 19 and her bf is 22. She has been with him for about 5 years already. She told me she has gone through a lot in this relationship. This is what has happened in her relationship so far:2 years back, she got slapped by him before. Went through so much of emotional hurt, Broke up but patched back countless times. She told me he is very possessive and controlling. She has frequent quarrels with him and it’s repetitive. She will be happy with him a few weeks or a month or so but after that conflict arises and this has been a cycle in her relationship. He is very manipulative; he buys her gifts, treats her meals and pays for the movies just to convince her and to make her stay with him and she falls for itShe tells me if she breaks up with him, it’ll be hard for her to move on and her heart just can’t forget him.Even though knowing the nature of her relationship, she is still in this relationship thinking he might change one day but she still has conflicts with him, even recently she was not in terms with him.How long can she tolerate this? He has already hit her before so he is a potential abuser right?Will she come into her senses soon enough or she’ll end up marrying him?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 She's going to stick with him until one day she wakes up and realizes that she doesn't have to take this abuse. If he's slapped her once, there's nothing holding him back from doing it again. They fight, argue, then he does his best to smooth it over with material things. The vicious cycle will keep on repeating itself. There's nothing you can do or say to make her snap out of it. He's got her emotions wrapped tightly around his finger. 5 years invested, she doesn't want to throw that time away, he's probably her first serious relationship, and she also may think she can't go any better. I know, it's hard to stand by and watch that happen. But one day she'll get herself out it, just not anytime soon.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Its hard to tell, some people are really good at trapping people by getting to know there weak points and using it against them so that they stay with them, he probably knows that buying her gifts and doing nice things will then make up for treating her badly. im afraid though that she needs to help herself in this case, i hope she wakes up and realises she can do better, just be there for her as a friend no matter what she decides.
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