A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a man for 2 years. We recently moved in together. He treats me like a queen. He's been alone for many, many years and told me he needed his alone time. Which I do by going shopping or playing golf, The problem is we don't have sex. He is on meds for heart and drinks a lot. in the beginning we tried but he couldn't keep an erection and he doesn't like taking any medication that he doesn't have to. So after I moved in I found out two things that he doesn't know i know. One he smokes. just one a day and that he watches porn to have his pleasure. I always know when I come home that he has done these two things. He likes that I don't pressure him and he says he is trying to work on the sex part. We are an older couple. I haven't confronted him because he will just blow up and be very angry. Will sex ever come? Can a relationship like this work? What should I do?
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female
reader, angelnikita  +, writes (4 January 2009):
Hey there, if your partner has been alone for many years it could be hes trying to get back into the swing of things and maybe hes just a little afraid that hes forgot how to do it and watching these porns could be his way of trying to get into the mood to be able to give you the best sex he can as you say he treats you like a queen so maybe he wants to treat you like that with sex also by doing it good and its not so bad having alone time usualy the best relationships work out with alone time, sit him down with a nice romantic meal and candles ask him not to be angry with you and tell him your not angry also and tell him you accidently found a porn video and i kno it may not be easy but ask him also if possible you could watch it together that way if he sees how open you are to this idea he may open up also and you never just maybe sex will come then i think this relationship could work out especialy when he tell yous he is working on the sex thing so it looks like he is trying. good luck in whatever you decide to do. x
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Your relationship is dependent on whether you're prepared to live in a sexless relationship or not.
You're treated like a queen in other ways but it's obviously not enough for you.
Discuss the problem openly with him. Make it clear to him that he physical side in the relationship is important to you.
Is he affectionate in other ways, like hugging and kissing you?
It seems to me he wants you for companionship and not much else.
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