A
male
age
30-35,
*ntPain
writes:Hey everyone,Just a really quick query but....me and my girlfriend have reached the stage where we are starting to have sex. She has had it before so shes not a virgin but hasnt had it for a little while i.e. a few months.We have only done it the once and, when we did it she said that it was a little painful and sore because of this. Is this because her vagina has tightened slightly of time? and will it become more enjoyable for her?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Yes it will - definitely. First time sex is usually rubbish for us women, I'm afraid to say. Concentrate on giving her oral sex, and only try to penetrate her when she is very wet. Having sex with her when she is dry will only make her feel like sex is not an enjoyable thing and make her more nervous next time. Focus on the other non-penetrative parts of sex first and foremost and then include penetration as an added 'extra' - not the main thing. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): It happens to me too.I went to see a doctor. She examined me and said that there still some hymen not broken on one side, but said that it would brake normally by having sex. But it didn't...When i had sex w my second boyfriend (i have had sex w the first one, so, not a virgin)it hurt, not as much as the first time, but it hurts and i have trouble w penetration. Its only in the beggining, but then , than sex goes fine... But then after 2 or 3 times, it doesnt hurt at all. Its kind of embarassing,he was like, "why is this happening?" he thought that either i wasnt relaxed and turned on or i lied and that was being my first time. Then i had to explain all anatomy involved, and of course we ended up not having sex that night. But then we did it very slowly, like my first time all over again, and gradually it stopped hurting. i dont think it makes much sense what the doctor said because after i have sex more regulary it stops hurting, but then if i stay a few weeks without having sex, it hurts again when i have. If it was the hymen thing it would hurt everytime right? so i really dont know....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Ok, yes her vagina will be tightened! It is painful for me if I don't have sex for a week, it hurts the first time like mad and the guy has to be slow and gentle with me until I am warmed up again. If it's her first time in months I can imagine it'll be like being a virgin again.Also, as the previous poster said, there are things you can do to help, so follow some of those tips.It's great that you're concerned about her pleasure, when I was your age the boys couldn't have cared less how i felt during sex. You have a leg up on the competition already with that attitude. Some girls can orgasm through sex alone, I can orgasm 2-3 times in one session if the man is willing to devote the energy to letting me get there. She's young so she might not even know how to orgasm through sex yet, it takes practice and trial and error to learn how to get there, unlike boys there are no simple pull and tug methods to get us off! And all women are different! You two can learn together to find out what makes her tick. It'll be a fun experience for both of you, good luck.
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