A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. I need an advice on what to do in a case like this. We've just bought a house with my boyfriend a week ago. Before we moved in months ago we planned that we need to save money so that when we move in we will share our bills and When we moved in I bought the furniture alone. He was supposed to pay the security installers, when they come to collect he told them that he paid them by cheque that takes 7 days to clear up. The installers where very furious so I had to bail him out and pay them as he promised to pay me when he gets his salary. I just want to know what to do. He even took a debt to some guy who sells products and told him to come and collect his money from me. Will our relationship work? Cause I feel like he acts as if he has no responsibility in this relationship as I have to be a provider of everything. Worse part I'm a breadwinner at home and I can't leave like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis goes to anonymous male. I needed an advice not to be crucified. You are very heartless. I made a mistake and I'm learning from it. If u can't help. Don't waste your time hurting other people with your hurtful advices, its like you are pouring petrol to fire.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): At the risk of sounding impertinent, what compelled you to buy a house with a financially irresponsible shack-up boyfriend and, since you did, then why didn't you ask for advice BEFORE doing something so foolish?
"Will our relationship work? Cause I feel like he acts as if he has no responsibility in this relationship as I have to be a provider of everything. Worse part I'm a breadwinner at home and I can't leave like this."
He acts like he has no responsibility in this relationship because HE HAS NO RESPONSIBILITY in this relationship; he is shacking up with you with absolutely no obligation and absolutely no commitment whatsoever, he would away tomorrow and gladly leave you stuck with the house and not care one bit knowing the bill collectors will just come after you instead of him.
Unfortunately, you made an egregriously stupid decision by entering into a huge financial investment with a deadbeat whom you can trust about as far as you can throw a battleship. When an unmarried couple shacks up, what's his reamins his and what's hers remains hers, yet in this instance he can stick you with the mortgage and you will have to sue him to recoup your losses on the house as you share no joint assets.
He doesn't care about ruining his credit, problem is he knows that your credit will be ruined along with his and so you have no choice but to bail him out to bail yourself out.
Agree with anon female 100%, at this time all you can do is assume you will be the one paying all household expenses while you seek a legal remedy to extricate yourself from the potentially bottomless hole that you've dug for yourself. Sorry, but that's what happens when you play house instead of getting married.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): See if you can get him off the bond; if not (which i doubt you can) keep EVERYTHING else separate, in YOUR name ONLY. DO NOT EPECT HIM TO HELP, he wont. Keep up your mortgage, or house payment, your water/gas/electricity. Are you able to sell? Try to kick him out, if you can, legally and financially and definitly seek financial AND legal advise. Regardless how much you love himl you cannot trust him to help. My sympathies to u and your situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe house is a joint bond so can't just move out and there's a way I would. Thanks for the respond
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