| A
male
,
*onny_05
writes: Me and my girlfriend recently got engaged and i have started gettin paranoid that she wants more than just me. I get very jealous and overprotective and i think im pushing her away. I have tried talkin to her but she finds it hard to show her emotions and to talk about our relationship. Last night however we had a huge row and nearly finished due to her alcohol consumption. I would be very appreciative if somebody would be able to advise me how to change so that i can keep my relationship lasting and happy!!
View related questions:
engaged, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jonny_05 +, writes (16 August 2006):
Jonny_05 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advise. I took note and tried talking and i gave her space and time out, however she has now finished me tonight and my heart has been broken in two.
A
male
reader, Polyfuse +, writes (12 August 2006):
I have the reverse problem. My girlfriend is extremely overprotective and jealous. It does affect the relatinship and im sure she will eventually resent you for it. Its cute at first but after things get comfortable that cuteness goes away and it becomes an annoyance. She even gets upset if i want to go visit my best friend and i dont invite her. You should work hard not to be so obsessive, she cares about you enough to get engaged and you have to work on cutting her some slack or you will be the cause of your break-up.
...............................
A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (12 August 2006):
 Right-o!
This is a common mistake that MANY men make actually. Some women, but more commonly men.
Women like that you show you care by being protective, but don't go so overboard that you basically keep her in a bubble. You can't prevent everything from happening to her, or else she'll never get a taste of life! Even though life has many risks of pain, it also has it's perks! Like having fun for example, even if it is just being a bit crazy. Don't let her walk into a room alone full of ex-convicts as drunk as a sailor, but don't stop her from going out with her friends. See, there's a delicate balance to be held.
Jealousy is a terrible thing that EVERY human experiences. Only difference is, some don't act on it, and in essence control it. Some women like their men to get a litttttlllle jealous at times, like maybe for instance, if another guy is flirting with her and she's ignoring you to talk to him. That's usually a sign she wants a bit of jealousy, I don't understand how it works, but it makes them feel special. BUT!!! Don't be jealous at a constant! If she has male friends, DON'T get so jealous that you ban her from seeing them. If it makes you feel better, plan something like a movie, and meet them. That way you'll feel a bit more secure. You have to watch the jealousy factor, that's a definate relationship ruiner.
Some tips on happy relationships that may be good to try:
~If she seems to enjoy romance, try randomly surprising her with a small gift, a massage, or a homemade candlelit dinner after work. Something unexpected, romantic, and sweet. It'll make her day, as well as spice up the relationship!
~Let her treat herself to something once in a while, like if she seems to be sitting around the house, and you're going to work, give her an idea (or some money) to go do something nice for herself. Maybe, shop? Rent a movie? Visit her best friend? Just don't make it seem like you're pushing it on her or it'll looks suspicious. Be more like, "Hun. While I'm at work, why don't you go rent that movie you've been wanting to see? If you want, we'll watch it when I get home, or you can watch it while I'm gone?"
~Don't be a nag! It's good to tell her how you feel, and say that something doesn't sit right with you. But don't keep on it and keep on it. Like for instance, if one of her male friends is a flirt. Tell her you're not too happy with it, and you'd rather be around when he is... not because you don't trust her, you just don't know what he's up to. But DON'T nag about how you don't want her to be around him at all, or that you think she should drop him as a friend just because you don't like him. She should be the one making the decisions like that about her friends. When guys do that, it makes it more so seem like they don't trust the woman.
~Ask her opinions on things, consider them, and listen to them! If you're one of those guys who are like: "Oh! Yeah hun, meant to tell you, I bought us a Chow!" That's a BAD factor. Unless you had previously listened about she wanted a Chow. ^.~
Hope this helps! These are just a few tips. Good luck!!
...............................
|
