| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: i posted on here earlier and got a response that kind of shook me. my question is how do i know if she used me? i slept with my friend who claimed to have feelings for me and wanted to be with me, but then later told me that she realized she needed to go back to her boyfriend. she said that it wasn't a 'regret', but it was a 'mistake.' does that mean that she used me? or is it possible that she meant what she said at the time about wanting to be with me, but later realized otherwise? because i'm starting to question our friendship right now. i can handle her being confused about who she wanted to be with, but i can't handle her straight out using me. what do you think?
View related questions:
her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (12 August 2006):
 No one can say exactly what she meant, but from what you said it seems like maybe she thought she had more feelings for you than him, and then after leaving him and going with you found out she was wrong. People get confused, especially women, about love. Maybe she realized that her ex's imperfections weren't enough to make her leave him. OR maybe there's something deeper into the meaning that I'm not seeing.
But my first thought stays the same. I think she was confused. If you two are really good friends, maybe she mistook her love for you for something more than friendly.
My advice is to go to her, and ask her what she meant by it. Tell her that if she was just confused, it's fine, everyone makes mistakes. But also flat out ask her if you were just used at a time of vulnerablity for her. See what she says.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2006): I think you want mental gratification that she didn't use you, and rather meant what she said. We don't know, and we will never know unless you give her some sort of truth serum, and unload her thoughts to you. We can tell you what each of us thinks, but I bet you that everyone will give 'different' answers - eg: "Yes I think she used you because so and so" and "No, I don't think she used you because so and so".
Ultimately, it's what you think, what you believe in. However, if this was up to me, I wouldn't dwell on it so much. We hd sex, she said blah, I feel sad, reflect, move on.
...............................
|
