A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI need some help to understand my feelings.A good friend of mine X confessed that he likes me. I had a hint but I didn't want him to confess because I don't feel the same. I used to text him like a friend but now I feel so annoyed every time he texts me for no reason at all. He used to text me often but it annoys me so much now. Why?? And this makes me wonder if I annoy my guy friend Y who knows I like him because I confessed? Cause I do text him often and he replies but quite late. Our conversations are friendly but do I annoy him with my texting (not that frequently) because he knows I have feelings for him?? I've had a bad relationship for 4 years and I didn't date anyone after that. I don't like the idea of being in a relationship anymore but I fail to understand Why I get so frustrated and annoyed when someone who confessed his feelings texts me often? (If I don't feel the same). And if the guy I like feels the same way about my texts cause he doesn't like me back and I'm okay with that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2017): The remedy to this is quite simple. You're not attracted to X in the way he is to you, and Y isn't attracted to you in the way you want him to be.
So you step away from both of them and sort out your feelings. You have to let go of both of them.
You don't have to be annoyed with anyone. Simply inform X you don't have the same feelings for him. If he can't deal with that; you'll have to be the one to disconnect. You're clinging to Y, and it is likely he will have to end it himself. How depends on how desperate you are. You have changed the purpose of your connection; so he will have to undo it because you can't.
He'll distance himself, if you won't take the initiative. He might get annoyed if you won't accept the fact he doesn't reciprocate the same kind of feelings for you.
You must handle this like an adult. There's no other way.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 May 2017):
 I think you are annoyed with X because you aren't into him the way he is into you. So when he texts it feels like you are tiptoeing around to not hurt his feelings and not encourage him either.
As for Y, is he annoyed with you? Maybe, maybe not. But I would stop texting him. You don't SEE him as a friend and HE isn't going to SEE you as more. You say you are OK with it, yet you also knows he takes forever to reply BECAUSE of the SAME reason as YOU not wanting to text X... He doesn't WANT to hurt your feelings but also doesn't want to tiptoe around.
If you want to get over Y, cut out the chatting for a while. Doesn't mean you have to totally drop him, but DOWNGRADE the amount of chatting. And If X annoys you, cut down on that too. LET him move on as well.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 May 2017):
 "And if the guy I like feels the same way about my texts cause he doesn't like me back and I'm okay with that."
Yeah, probably.
And no wonder you get annoyed, because you have told the guy you don't like him, and yet he keeps trying to get in touch with you. I mean you HAVE told him you don't reciprocate his feelings, right? If not, then do tell him. And forget about trying to be friends right now, these feelings need to die down before you can hang out again or send texts.
As for the guy YOU like, but who doesn't like you back... Stop texting him. He's not interested, and he takes forever to respond to you because yes, you probably do annoy him too. And how do you intend to get over him if you keep in touch with him this way? He's not interested in you. He wont get interested in you even if you keep texting him. The best thing you can do is avoid him until your feelings for him are gone.
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