A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I don't relly know where to start. I have been in a somewhat shaky, on again, off again more off then on relationship for the past three years with this persom. Most of the the break ups I will have to say has been her fault. Wanting others things, going back to ex's and what not.. Now I know you are thinking why is this guy even wasting his time, but I really care about this girl. There was a brief time that she was very good to me and I proposed and things feel apart. We also share alot of history with a miscarriage and all. But we went six months broking up but still talked or text every week. She met someone else and that didn't work out and now we are trying it again (not the first time thats happen). We both made it clear to each other this time what we wanted before we got back into it. Everything went well for the first month or so but now it seems that I am headed down that familar road. She clears all her inbox and calls on her phone from me catching her texting her ex that she was with when we broken up. She seems ill with me all the time and trys to distance herself from me. When I confront her about things she twist it around telling me I shouldn't go threw her phone and I should trust her. As if I was doing something wrong. I believe that with the shaky relationship that we have had then trust has to be earned. I feel like she also trys to keep me a secret. Sure her friends know but she is kinda cautious where we go and hasn't even changed her status on facebook after being back together for almost to months. I said something to her a bout that to. But I have talked to her many times and told her that if shes not sure that she wants this then let me know. She tells me she does and that she loves me but actions speak louder than words. I have treatened her and said that if things don't change that I was gone but yet nothing different. I guess my question is "Am i beating a dead horse?" Will it always be this diffcult to make it work with this girl?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (22 August 2009):
 I think that you are now the backup guy she runs to when things don't work out. It's easy for her to be with you when her other options fall through until she builds herself up again. That's why she's not telling anyone about you and hiding her emails and texts; she is already planning to move on to someone else.
You had a wonderful time together once. But, as you said, it was brief and now it's over. You are hanging on hoping you'll be happy again. Unfortunately, we are not promised the future and we have to take control of our happiness today, not wait for some potential happiness down the road that may never come.
You know in your heart what will happen and what you need to do.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): i mean i'm not a guy or anything but i'm going to try my best to help you because i know how girls are!
well first if she really loved you, it wouldn't be an on and off thing it would be one big thing! And apparently she is doing something because if she wasn't, it wouldn't matter if you looked through her phone or not! One thing i do know girls get jealous really easy! So if you hugged another girl or something, she may be trying to get back at you! Just ask her if her actions and feelings are the same?
Just ask her what she wants and this is her last chance...
You can't keep a lier forever!
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