A
female
age
26-29,
*iglo
writes:I was with a guy for a few months. his first girlfriend. i left to go study abroard for 3 months. i told him i didn't think it was a good idea to commit and maybe we should just take those time off whilst i was away. I was trying to do the sensible thing as i only knew him for a short period time. He agreed at the timeSoon after i arrived he told me he was upset because thought i wanted to hook up with other guys, and i reassured him this wasn't the case. I told him i still wanted to talk to him and see him again romantically when i was back home. I thought trying long distance so soon wouldn't end up working.He was saying he wanted to hear about my classes when they started and downloaded whatsapp so we could chat less expensivily.. all making me think it was fine to continue chattingThen soon after he went cold. I tried to contact him but he took ages to reply, avoided having a normal conversation to catch up. He also snap chatted a girl flirting with him, and i felt like it was to get a reaction. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he still liked me but that i was awayA week later i tried calling, he didn't pick up. I messaged him saying i couldn't continue in Christmas cos he was messing with my head and i needed to concentrate on work... he responded a day later saying he wasn't trying to mess with my head, that he still thought of me just less naturally (out of sight out of mind i guess). I asked about the snapchat- he said he would never do that to me.. i just don't get why my feelings wouldn't come to his mind? we were REALLY closeIs he pretending he doesn't care because he's hurt/ protecting his feelings, or does he not care at all? i can't understand why if two people like each other they won't want to catch up.I'm trying to move on, but also don't want to lose something great if he still is into me but doesn't know how to show his feelings. He won't give me a straight answer when i ask why he's avoiding catch up. i regret trying to be sensible
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): I was a firestorm of hurt, pain, jealousy, and sadness when my ex' left for an internship overseas. Esp' when he posted stuff on Facebook about partying, hot girls, blogging and crying over a chick as well, etc. But even though inside I was a storm, I kept my cool outside and then proceeded to date and meet people. Took a long time to get over him but I knew part of reason why he was doing it was because he knew1) He can get away with it2) He stated we weren't committed so he it was a great excuse to say he was free (even though we were very in love)3) He wanted to have fun4) He wasn't thinking about how it would affect us5) He had resentment that I may be sleeping with other men while he was away6) He couldn't get over that maybe we meant more to each other than he thought7) He was trying to run away from his real feelings for me8) He was also trying to live his life and have as much fun as possible and being irresponsible about how it would affect my feelings for himGiven that you sound like you're not doing anything wrong, I think he's just jealous youre going somewhere. He's also upset you broke things off instead of saying you'll miss and want to be together despite the distance. He's full of a lot of resentment and I think he does feel for you but he's shoving it all away. He's trying to play cool, he's trying to act like he's okay. And he's not okay by making you see that he's flirting with other girls and working hard to ignore you. And most likely he'll continue to be an asshole to you or even forget you, til you return. Hes being rebellious. And there's nothing you can do about it but state how you feel. Then block him and drop him off the earth. All you can do is focus on you and on your studies. Don't be full of regret! Because I know he'll want you back and try to win you over after everything settles down, but right now you cant bend to his wills (which is exactly what he wants). Tell him how you feel and how he's making you feel disrespected, back off, then drop him off the earth.When my ex came back from overseas, he wanted me back. After all those girls and fun times, I think his feelings for me were rejuvenated and he wanted to start over. But I was already moving on and doing stuff. Time only can tell what will happen. Good luck =)
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (6 October 2016):
 I think youre right he was probably trying to get a reaction with the Snapchat. Did he send it directly to you?
I think he's testing the waters to see what he can get away with. He didn't like the idea of not speaking at first but now he's speaking to other people he doesn't seem very bothered by it. I think you're doing the right thing trying to move on.
If he liked you as much as he says he does he wouldn't be flitting with other people would he?
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