A
male
age
30-35,
*willbeokay%
writes:Hi friends!Actually I thought a lot before writing this message but finally decided to do it. Maybe my situation will very common and not interesting for you, but I really hope for your understanding and help. So I am 20 years old guy and still I am virgin. Before this day I have never had a girl to meet with, and I am not speaking about dating, emotions and sex. Speaking about myself - I am good looking guy and everything is okay. Some years ago I thought that time will pass and sometimes it will happen. So 2-3 years passed and the situation is the same. I am starting to panic a little bit. When I speak with a girl just during the meeting or a party, I can't like my friends put for example hand on a shoulder of a girl and start flirting. I simply can't do that... I do not know why. I can't dance holding the lower side of a girls body (hope you understand what part) and so on. I thunk I am quite modest boy. All happens with me in a sort of formal style or something like that. Now I joined the university and here the relations between guys and girls are more free so it presses me too much... All of my friends beginning from 18 years have had sex... I am not... For me it is necessary to have emotions and feelings, not just fun.. but because of the male physiology I really extremely want sex. If such situation will last more that 1 year.. I simply will not survive without girl and sex. When I start thinking about feeling, emotions... I become in a panic how long it must pass in order to find that girl and definitely how long it have to pass to have a sex... Not just a sex, but for me it will be the first one. Sometimes it seems that it will never come... Sometimes just really want to cry.. that is it.Please write your thoughts and suggestions.Thanks,%willbeokay%
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): After having sex for the first time, nothing much changes. You simply know what it is like, and you can feel more relaxed around girls.
When interacting with girls, it would probably help you to not go shopping while hungry. This means 'relieve' yourself first, then go out. I know using your hand may not give you much lasting relief, so I'll mention the Fleshlight. Just absolutely DO NOT use it as a permanent substitute!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): Well, this is certainly nothing to cry about, you are only 20 after all, not the 40 year old virgin, but even if you were that would be OK because it would be you.
I think you just need to take a breath here and realize that you will survive whether you find a girl and have sex or not. I hope you are taking care of yourself because of the male physiology as you mention, that is certainly allowed isn't it?
You are lucky that you want emotions and feelings and not just fun with a girl because there are a lot of girls who require that before they would ever have sex with a guy, they want a relationship first.
I think that is what you want, too, so instead of worrying about having sex, start a friendship with a girl you are attracted to, flirt a little just by laughing and being friendly, ask her out on a date even if it is just walking around your campus or community and taking in the sights, do something where the two of you can talk and get to know one another. Fall in like, fall in love and sex will probalby most likely happen when the time is right for both of you.
If you just want to have a shag, then go to drunken parties and pick up a girl who wants the same thing....but you may be disappointed, but maybe not who knows.
What ever you do, be safe and practice safe sex.
Seriously, man this is nothing to get so down about. The first year of university can be difficult and lonely, you have a lot to adjust to, maybe you are even a bit homesick.
Try to go home for the weekend and see your family and old friends, or give your folks a call, I am sure they would love to hear from you on occassion....that is if you live away from home, maybe you live at home, don't know, but you sound a little lonely to me, which is understandable.
Take care.
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