A
female
age
51-59,
*evalearn
writes:Hi aunts, I have posted a question on here previosly regardiung my husband sleeping with prostitutes. I appreciated all your answers. My question now is its been about 6 weeks since I found out and I still cry everyday. I am having trouble finding someone for councelling. Has anyone been in my situation. I have four kids and he was depriving me of sex while this was going on not vice versa. I think he has stopped now, even though we have major trust issues. How long does it take before you stop hurting, do you ever stop hurting?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Well, I caught my husband of 27 years coming out of a brothel in December 2007 and I'm still hurting - he deprived me of sex - said it was because of his blood pressure pills - he says he only went there 3 times (I know it was more like six times) and it was a 'blokes thing' whatever that means. We had had a difficult year and I had stood by him through various things and this is the way he treated me. I still don't know what to do - I went to the doctor this week who prescribed prosac but I haven't taken it yet - she also said she would get me counselling asap - I know I should get a divorce but after all these years it's difficult - my sons who are in their 20's are aware of what happened and despise him - I don't want to live with him of without him - it's a difficult step to take. After I caught him, I made him go to the clinic to make sure he hadn't got any infections - he was very humbled - but now we're back to the same old ways - he's in total control-I don't know if I will every be able to trust him again - if he's late back from work I wonder where he's been - I still live my life from day to day.
All I can say is if you're younger than me - which you probably are - then divorce him - otherwise you will spend the rest of your years wondering what he's up to as you will never be able to trust him again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): Hi I'm in a similar situation. My husband has been sleeping with a teenage girl for months. I found out 2 months ago, when he said it had stopped, but I cry everyday too. He thinks I should stop going over it and move on. I would leave if I wasn't pregnant. I hope we both stop crying soon but leaving is the only way I could get over it faster but I'm too scared. We don't deserve this. Sorry I can't help you but I feel always a little better knowing I'm not alone.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (2 August 2007):
 I would file for divorce. I don't think I could ever get over this type of betrayal. Your husband is not normal and you will never trust him again, it doesn't matter what he tells you, it'll always be there in the back of your mind. He has an addiction. He needs help. You'd be better off without him. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, MARYA MANAOIS  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 My parents were in the same situation. There's 4 of us kids and that was the only reason why they stayed together. My dad slept with any different women (prostitutes, coworkers, etc)and she gave him so many chances. After 17 years of marriage my mom just got fed up and slept with someone else which my dad couldn't take. I mean, it was just a mess. I see my mom cried herself to sleep every night. Finally, they got divorced but it was the best thing that ever happened to them. They both had moved on and now very happy with someone else. You see, things happened for a reason. That means, there's someone out there for you waiting. And once you find that someone, he will treat so much better, love you and most of all be faithful to you. Don't lose hope. Be strong. You deserve to be happy. Your kids will understand if they see you happy.
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