A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I are together now. He had a brief affair with our neighbour who is married. We were all friends. When I caught them together he asked me what about us, well I told him that as long as he was involved with her I would see to it that he never seen our daughter. We went to couselling and things are better. I still feel that I need to kick the shit out of her. I still haven't met up with her out in public, her and her husband split, he calls me but I don't want to talk to him but I want to kill her. Will I ever get over the hate for that slut?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Oh sweetie you're not helping anything. You need to sit down with your husband for a nice long talk. The sooner the better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Hun, I know you're hurting but it's taking over your life. You spend all of your energy hating, and hating, and hating even more.It's hard to hear, but don't hate her. I'm not saying love her make peace, but that poor woman has nothing.Go to the fair with your daughter. Read the Harry Potter books together. Talk to your husband.Keep a diary, and record all of your bad juju thoughts.Forget about her. What's done is done, and you can't help that.Best of luck healing hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): The other woman got what she deserved, she was left alone again,,,she was used and not good enough for your husband to leave you, he obviously kicks himself for betraying you he must feel so dirty inside for being with someone he thought was something he fantasized that turned out to be a dud....feel sorry for her...she was desperate most women who sleep with married men are..some of them it is a thrill they think they are better then the wives until they get thier asses dumped and the man pleads for wifes forgiveness he clearly missed what he took for granted......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Already some posters are playing 'pass the parcel' with blame, and now YOU are in the firing line. YOU NEVER MADE YOUR HUSBAND HAVE AN AFFAIR. HE, AND HE ALONE IS IN CONTROL OF HIS ACTION. SO IS THE WOMAN HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH.
Figure it out, you are in the blame seat, who do you blame? That old boyfriend? Your parents.
Stop it here, you have to let the hate go or leave your husband and start again with someone new.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): If you are looking for sympathy, then you won't find it from me.
I understand they hurt you, but to act the way you are is no less then what they did.
This woman is already going through hell, as one poster already pointed out, and to even think of enacting revenge on someone who has nothing... is far more inhuman then it is for such a person to want what someone else has.
My father cheated on my mother for a good long while. They divorced and I don't see my father as much as I used to.
I don't hold grudges on him or his new wife (the lady who cheated with him). I don't like, or agree with how they went about it, I do wish my father at least had been honest about his not being in love with my mother.
But I'm not gonna let that sorry turn of events ruin my life.
I suggest you don't either. Life is far too short to hate.
And very few people know what it trully means to hate someone.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Hi
Only when you choose to!
Grandfather to Grandson
One day my grandson you will have two wolves fighting within you.
What will they fight for grandfather?
One will fight for hate, jealousy, revenge
and the other wolf will fight for love peace
and joy.
Grandfather which wolf will win?
Quite simple the wolf that you feed!
I know which wolf i would want to win!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): You have your beautiful young child, you have your husband back, is that not revenge enough.
This woman has nothing. She has lost her husband, she has lost her friend, she has lost her self respect. One of her children is a drug addict, the other one is dead. What can you do to hurt her, how can you get revenge? Isn't her life horrible enough for you, what is worse than having a child who is dead. Move on with your life and your marriage. Yes you are hurting, but she has lost everything, there is nothing that you can do to hurt her, be happy that you are not her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Dear Poster
I have empathy with you but I suggest you should consider more counseling. You need to let go of the hatred and the anger. It is not good for you to have those feelings bottled up inside you. You need to forgive the other woman.
Take note of what Fade 878 is saying to you; what was wrong in your marriage; why did your husband cheat with that woman?
Don't just put all the blame on her, but try to find what was wrong in your marriage; by doing that you are learning from the mistakes and can try to avoid something so humiliating to happen to you again.
Yes, I understand you are feeling hurt and angry, but do speak to your counselor to help you to overcome those emotions.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
male
reader, smokey08  +, writes (23 October 2008):
"well I told him that as long as he was involved with her I would see to it that he never seen our daughter."Why do you think his daughter should be punished for her fathers mistakes? Is he abusing his daughter in any way or are you just using this completely innocent child as a tool to torment your husband with?Your husband had a shag on the side. That is bad. Sort it out between the pair of you. Do not abuse your daughters rights to see her father by way of "punishment". That is unforgivable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Intesting to note that the other womans marriage split.
A cheated man gets rid of the cheat.
And yourself the cheated woman continues with the cheat, your husband.
This behaviour perpetuates, men having affairs, even serial affairs. Just like law and order, the penalty has to fit the crime.
Its natural to hate this woman. To act on this hate is folly and will only lead you down a route that will warp your beating heart.
Somehow you need to let go, and only time will find the way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe hatered is more towards her because she was a friend and lying to me. She even used my 5 year old as a way to get to my husband. My husband and i are dealing with his part of this he hasnt gotten away without seeing the anger towards him as far a keeping his daughter from him i would only do that if he was with her no one else. She raised one druggy and the other one killed himself no one that lousy at parenting will help raise my daughter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): You are hating the wrong person babes. You so want to keep your marriage together that you are putting all the blame onto her. Look carefully at your marriage, if your husband was in love and happy, then he wouldn't have strayed. Are you sure that everything was happy at home. It's easy to hate, but she couldn't have sex with him if he didn't want it as well. It's always easy to blame the other women, but she has been punished, she is now all alone. It must hurt to know that the only way you could get him back was by threating to take his child away. Everything is not roses in your marriage, take a hard look at your marriage, yourself and the man you have decided to love. This woman has betrayed her husband, not you. Your husband is the one that betrayed you, why don't you get angry with him instead, or are you too frightened that he will do this again?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Why sweat the small stuff? You are the winner, he is with you. She is reminded of that daily, so relax and enjoy your life.
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (23 October 2008):
 I know this is going to sound childish, but I think I wouldnt be able to help myself and would do something nasty to her house...like wiping dogs poo all over her door or windows...assuming there is enough poo lying around and that she doesnt have surveilance cameras.
Killing the woman isnt such a good idea, might get you in trouble, but please do allow yourself to indulge into some delightful little revenges. She deserves that. That bitch.
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