A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i feel really selfish and guilty writing this but i would just like some opinions and advice.A few years ago i used to work with this really great guy we had loads in common but because we worked together we never had a relationship.We both admitted having feelings for eachother.As time went on he got himself a girlfriend and i met a great guy (we have been together 3 years). My current boyfriend loves me so much and i know im so lucky to have him..he's 1 in a million and i could never leave him.My problem is that i never really got over my work collegue-even though we havent worked together for a couple of years and i bumped in to him last year and i just couldnt get him out of my head for days after..my feelings for him had returned...then recently i found out that he had a baby a few months ago and i feel so upset.Crazy i know!Has anyone been in this position and will i ever get him out of my head?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Confused4  +, writes (4 June 2008):
I absolutely have been in this position and still am. I am not sure why 1 person can hold that special place in your heart over others. I am married and this is what is happening right now to me. What is it that makes you adore him as you do? A look, the attention what is it? Whatever it is there is something to be said about a special connection with a certain person. It is something you can not describe. Is the feeling mutual? You love your new manm but you have this undesirable need to have this certain man. I can say one thing ... Love is not fair...you were not meant to be with that guy. The thing that i think it is for me is NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE HIM. I fantasize about him everyday. What would it be like? Just living in the fantasy makes me happy. Look at it that way if you ever did do something with him in the past you may not have this undesirable need for him. I wish i had the answer for you as i need one too!
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