A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Over a span of about 3 years, I've fallen in love with someone who, not long ago, I decided to open up to. They told me that they only want to stay as friends, which has deeply saddened me. They were the only person I've been interested in ever and they seemed to have the perfect personality that, as I've found out so far, no one else I've ever even heard of has a vaguely similar persona. It feels as if they are the only person I would want to be with. Nothing really kept me happy besides knowing that I had a chance with them, and after I've been 'rejected' I can't be happy at all. I feel as though my life has no purpose anymore, that I will only be happy again if I find a duplicate of them. people have told me that I will feel better, that there's 'plenty of fish in the sea', but I think I won't be happy again unless I somehow interested them, but as they told me, they aren't interested in anyone, so that is impossible. No one I've seen comes even remotely similar to them, and because of that I don't think that I'll fall in love ever again. I don't know how I should continue living when, from what I've gathered, I won't be happy again. Will I ever find someone the same as them, as that is the only way I would become interested in someone, or will I continue spiralling into an endless depression? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (15 October 2018):
 Actually finding a duplicate is a bad idea. Try someone different enough not to remind you of her.
I do agree with Andie, that at your age this isn't likely the big one.
In my half century I have only met one man who held a torch for his unrequited love for life. Almost everyone finds another. But you are UK and he was Mediterranean. Only Mediterraneans have the kind of passion to do that. We certainly don't do it here in the states, and we are way hotter (more passionate) than Brits.
But hey, I know at your age it feels like that. Just give it time until you are ready to try again.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (14 October 2018):
 Oh, Honey. This is hormones, I promise. This isn’t love; it’s an intense crush. Love is what you’ll experience in a few years when you find someone who feels the same and you build an adult relationship together.
Do you truly believe that, in the remaining 70 years of your life, you will *never* find someone else you love? That’s just over 4 times the amount you’ve lived so far! Almost *nobody* finds their “soulmate” until they’re an adult.
Trust me, this will fade, but only if you let it. You’ll be sad for a while, but liking someone hurts sometimes. Pain takes time to heal.
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