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age
30-35,
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writes: He's engaged to the girl he told me was just his friend when we were together. I found out last night. We were each others' first love. We were together for two years until he dumped me out of the blue. I was a wreck for the past two years. Almost dropped out of university, lost my relationship with my best friend my mom, and lost my faith in God. I've spent the past two years rebuilding my life, getting everything back on track again. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me, Im working towards medical school, my mom and I are mending our relationship. So why do I feel so crushed?When he left me I tried to move on, and every time I would start to heal he would show up again crying. Begging me to take him back. Telling me he is confused and still loves me. I would break down again and the cycle would keep going. If he had told me there was someone else, I would have walked and never looked back. I would never have spent two years of my life crying myself to sleep, not trusting my boyfriend because of him, keeping myself out of reach from everyone around me.Last night I found out he got engaged last week to her. That they have been together this whole time. He says he loves her. She calls him by the same nickname I gave him. I feel sick to my stomach. I know I am better off without him. I know that he didn't deserve me. He was a coward and a jerk for all the things he put me through. He abandoned me and broke my heart. He took my virginity and left me to drown. I know I could never go back to him. Because the guy I miss is no longer there. We have both changed, and he has for the worse. So why am I crumbling yet numb at the same time? Is that even possible? I just want to know, more than anything, has anyone experienced such heartbreak to have that person regret their decision years later?? I am more mature than he is and have dealt with the destruction he left behind, and am in no place in my life to fully know who I am let alone decide to get married. He ran away and pushed the pain of the break up aside, he never dealt with it, and Im certain he still has no idea who he is enough to decide who he wants to marry at this age. We are still in college for god's sake. Will he regret his decision to marry her? Please, anyone who has been through this and had that person regret it years later, I need to know that I will eventually get closure. That I will get through this. That my heart will mend and I can be reminded of him and not feel so much pain.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): First loves are the worst! They tend to be the strongest bc we've never been hurt b4 so we put our whole heart and soul into it. What your feeling is normal. You will never 100% get over him/ forget him...but that is the same for him also. I dated a guy for 3 years and he broke up with me much in the same way your guy did. He LOVED the break up (while i went into a deep depression). During this time apart, we had no contact (which i would advise u to do... meaning delete him from fb and stay away from places he goes. hearing about the wedding plans will only make u sad). In my experience, we ran into each other (after a yr) and he tried to start talking to me again. Even tho this guy was not the right guy for u, nor u him, he will always remember u and I'm sure will have thoughts about u and what he could have had. U should stop worrying about that tho and just count your blessings
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