A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Will I have limited boyfriend chances unless I give blow jobs?? I don't mind hand jobs, but I'm not a person who feels comfortable with the idea of a penis in my mouth. I also don't particularly like the idea of a guy ejaculating on me, but I don't see another option unless condoms are used, but I'm assuming they may be difficult to keep on if you're just giving a hand job. So, since they will need to ejaculate and probably don't want to do it into a towel (does it stain a bit even when washed??), would it be rude of me to shower almost immediately after they do it on my chest or stomach?? I don't feel very comfortable with it on me for very long because i don't like the feel of it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 May 2014):
 Yes.... you'll be removing from consideration those guys who are so smitten with themselves - and their weeny - that they can't imagine a woman not DYING to give them a blow job....
The squillion other guys who are available to you should provide an adequate pool of prospects, such that you have no trouble finding a "special man-friend."
Good luck...
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 May 2014):
Some guys will cheat on you because of it. Some will be happy you don't want to give because they don't like to receive. Some wouldn't date you because of it. Some would prefer it but can live without it.
The key is to be honest. Attract a man that's properly suited to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): No you're fine.
It's like anything in dating it's just one of your conditions.
I see blow jobs as a sexual need, I wouldn't date a girl who doesn't give them but I'd have zero problem wearing a flavoured condom and no problem not ejaculating on or in the mouth during them either. I also don't care if they they want to stop, I'll finish myself off and frankly it can be handier, excuse the pun, to finish off a blow job with the hand anyway.
Would it be rude for you to not just lie there with our disgusting feeling, smelly spunk all over you? Not at all.
Just like it's not rude for me to clean my penis and clear my bladder to prevent any kind of infection straight after sex.
It's simple hygiene and good habit. Believe it or not we don't exactly want a post-coital cuddle with a woman covered in spunk.
OP who knows, for the right guy maybe you can learn to tolerate it and do it. I don't know many who would refuse to wear a condom if it was the only way they'd get head and while there is a certain novelty and satisfaction to cumming on or in a woman, it's definitely negotiable for most of us and not necessary at all.
Most of all though, OP, you like what you like, and it's up to you to only do things you're okay with doing. The only advice I'd give you is sometimes, and for the right guy, it can be worth taking the plunge.
Does it hurt your chances? Not at all. In fact not liking football or having a specific taste in music cuts down your dating pool more than disliking blow jobs.
Besides most men are used to the idea that they'll only get them at the start and then only once in a while if they beg as a treat. As that joke goes "why is the bride smiling while walking down the isle? because she knows she's given her last blow job." Luckily in my marriage that's not true, but most of the time it is.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 May 2014):
 Blow jobs are a treat, not a man's birthright and I think any guy who receives them should consider himself very lucky.
For some men this will be a deal breaker, but for others it won't be. Just be honest, matter of fact and stick to your limits. The incompatible will weed themselves out.
This is not something you owe someone and plenty of people go without. If you ever decide you're going to do it, then do whatever you need to do to make it as safe and comfortable for yourself as possible. If that means brushing your teeth or showering immediately afterward, so be it.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (9 May 2014):
 OP, you already have good advice but just to add; keep a box of tissues nearby. He can use them rather than a towel or you.
You won't have limited chances of finding a boyfriend at all. Don't fret.
BUT you might just find that when you're with the right guy, who you love and he loves you back, these bodily fluids might not bother you so much.
Either way, don't worry. There are ways around this so you don't need to feel any discomfort and the guy doesn't feel limited. Tissues.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 May 2014):
 You've not had much sex, have you? A guy doesn't have to come on you if you give him a handjob. The guy knows when he's coming, he can hold it in until you get a condom on, but the easiest option is just for him to come in his own hand, or to come in your hand. You don't want to mess up your towels or bed sheets with that stuff. It's a mess. It does come off in the wash, but it's such a bother. It is much easier to just clean your hands afterwards.
Oh and no, you're not limiting your chances of having a boyfriend at all. The men will not ask you upfront if you perform this or that act in bed before they start a relationship with you (and if they do, do NOT enter a relationship with them because they're just using you). A genuine guy who likes you will like you for YOU, not for whatever sexual act you will perform.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): Let me just say that as a girl who really loves giving her man a blow job, I have problems finding and keeping a boyfriend, so that particular thing doesn't seem to matter either way.
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A
male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (9 May 2014):
No you're fine :)
You don't need to do anything like that if a guy loves you. I know us guys enjoy blow jobs etc but it's not the end of the world if they aren't involved in the relationship. If you're not comfortable doing acts like that then don't do them. There is more to love and relationships then blow jobs and sex acts. Just do what makes you feel comfortable :) plenty of guys will understand this.
You're not limiting your chances
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (9 May 2014):
 some men don't like BJs, some men are not bothered either way. For most men it wont be a deal breaker.
semen can stain but usually washes out pretty easily. Yes it would be a bit awkward to run to the shower straight afterwards. Im sure most men will come up with a compromise.
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