A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a happy relationship for 2 years with a top girl. Every now and then, however, I have these emotionally intense dreams involving my ex girlfriend who broke up with me more than 3 years ago. In these dreams she is either rejecting me again or taking me back.. Even though most of the time I feel like I am over her, once a month or so I'll have one of these dreams. So my question is: Is this normal? I've never been hung up on someone for so long.. if that person was 'the one', will I be haunted by her for the rest of my life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I could be wrong, with so little information to go on...but I'll throw my two cents in.How long after your break-up was it before you got involved with the new girlfriend? What happens a lot is that guys will feel hurt and because they are action oriented, they will fix the problem by getting a new girl that helps them forget about the hurtful feelings.The problem with that is this...the hurtful feelings are still there and they will keep resurfacing. What we are meant to do when we are grieving, is to feel the feelings and let them work through the grieving process...denial, anger, despair, bargaining and finally, acceptance. That is not a set order and you go through these feelings more than once. When you reach the acceptance phase and can truly wish your ex well, then you are ready for the next relationship.You might could benefit seeing a couselor to help you regress and work through the emotions, or the lucid dream suggestion may work just as well.I wish you peace and happiness :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): You're in a happy relationship now so the ghost(haunted) of your ex , I think, is your rational mind still trying to puzzle why it ended with perhaps the answer adding your present relationship. Figure that one out.
Next time you have the dream try to come out of it into lucid dreaming and tell her (really your mind since you are putting her there) that your relationship has since ended and that you don't want to see her in your dreams any more.
You're telling your subconscious mind that you have accepted the end of the previous relationship as you are happily in a new one for over two years now.
p.s.There are myriad possibilities for 'the one' and it usually is whom are you comfortable with at the moment that completes you.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (17 November 2009):
I have also had dreams with my ex. Its tough to get a person you cared about for so long to completely disappear from your mind.
If you are happy, don't dwell on this. If she were 'the one' she wouldn't have broken up with you, its that simple.
Hope this helps!
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