A
male
age
30-35,
*urningIce13
writes:Hi there, I hope someone here can help me with what I want to know. I think I actually already know the answer to my question but I want to however double check and make sure I'm right.I live in South Africa at the moment and am a citizen here by birth, I'm 17, I'm turning 18 next year on April 7. I have a girlfriend who lives in the USA, she's a citizen there by birth and she's 19.Alright me and her are planning for me to move over to the USA as soon as I turn 18 next year because then my parents won't be able to stop me since I know they probably will try to.Now my question is, will I be able to move out of my parents house when I'm 18 and move over to the USA to go stay with my girlfriend or will my parents be able to stop me?At the moment as far as I know and according to the research I did so far I will be able to because I will be legally considered a adult. The age of majority here is 18 at the moment. Its always been 21 til about 1-2 years ago and then they lowered it to 18. I'll be 18 in 6 months from now so will I be able to move out then and move to the USA without them stopping me in some way?I very much appreciate any information and help anyone has for me on this. Thank you in advance.Tristan (my false name) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, BurningIce13 +, writes (10 October 2008):
BurningIce13 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah I have thought about contacting the American Embassy, think I'll do that as soon as I get the chance.
As for a student visa, hopefully that will also be a answer. I see your from SA? Now I'll try to find out how to get a student visa and if it will work for me for what I want to go do and all that.
Yeah I know its very complicated and hard I've seen so over the last few months. Very stressful and tiring.
Oh and I'm not sure about SA but I do know that it will work if me and her were to get married, I would be able to stay there then and everything according to their laws, did research on that.
For example here is something that one of the USA immigration sites said, they all say the pretty much the same thing, copying and pasting it here below for you what they said about the K1:
If you are a U.S. citizen you can file a K-1 fiancée petition to the INS. In the petition, you, as a U.S. citizen, must document that you in fact are a U.S. citizen; that the couple have met in person within the prior two years; that both are free to marry; and that the couple will marry within ninety days of the foreign fiancée's entry into the U.S.
Upon approval of the INS petition, the foreign fiancée will go to the U.S. embassy/consulate in his/her home country and apply for a K-1 visa. Upon issuance, the fiancée will enter the U.S. and will be given automatic employment authorization for a period of 90 days. After the couple gets married, the alien should file the I-485 application for permanent residence.
Thats a brief description what one of the immigration sites says about the K1 and such.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Dear Poster
I suggest that you contact the American Embassy and get all the different visa options and requirements from them.
Hopefully some of the uncles and Aunts can share some light on the situation regarding the laws on there side as to with you intending to get married; I know for a fact that if it was the other way around you would have problems; in SA you don't just get citizenship due to being married; not anymore there are lots of rules and requirements.I do believe America might be even more difficult.
Personally I think you should look at a student visa; rather then to rush into marriage.
My son will be going over next year but he has been contracted by a company to work and study, for a couple of years; they are assisting him with his visa applications. BUT trust me it is complicated and not that easy.
I suggest you don't stress about getting to the airport yet; that is the least of your worries for now; I think you need to sort out the details and options on visas first; then meet your girlfriend and then worry about the transport to the airport when time arrives. Hopefully by then your father will take you.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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male
reader, BurningIce13 +, writes (10 October 2008):
BurningIce13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for you help that really helped a lot =]I really appreciate your concern about me its really nice.We have taken everything and I mean everything into consideration so its all good =] money isn't a problem at all for us, the tickets and everything is already taken care off. Her moms (her mom is lezbain so she has two moms) both fully support us and are all for it. They are helping me and her out in any way they possibly can which is really nice and makes things a lot easier for me and my girlfriend.So far its looking like I'm going to have to go over with a K1 visa, thats a fiance visa since me and her will be engaged so it will work. The downside to that visa though is that after I get it stamped in my passport I then must go to the USA and then also me and her have to get married within 90 days after I arrive and we don't really want to get married that soon. We want to get married in 1-2 years from now when we have more money to have a better one.Both me and my girlfriend will be staying with her mom's for the first while til we are able to get a good place of our own. We're first going to get some things like furniture and all the other kinds of things and THEN we will move to our own little place =] Her moms offered that me and her can stay with them and said its fine.The idea is when I'm there that both me and my girlfriend will be working, her moms said they can arrange me a job quickly when I get there that pays well. Also, both me and my girlfriend will also be studying while working.I've always wanted to live in the USA since I can remember plus now I want to be with my love more then anything, want to live with her and thats what we will do. Now we just have to work on it, where there is a will there is a way =]I'm doing my research about everything very properly. Whats hard at the moment is going to the USA and being able to STAY there without having to leave again within a few months so IF I do get a K1 (fiance) visa that will take care of that but we don't want that though. We're trying to look for a way for me to come to go over and to be able to stay there with her, which visa to get, its all very hard and we're doing it on our own. My girlfriend knows a lot about many things but I noticed that when it comes to visa's and stuff she doesn't know to much, the information her mom gives sounds like she knows what she is talking about but her mom's information still sounds incorrect to me.Both my girlfriend and her mom's say that I just need to come over and once I get there then I can go to the offices there or whatever and then get my greencard there, they said I should tell them that I am well taken care of and that I"m staying with a american family which will be my girlfriend's and yeah basically that I'll be fine. They said that when I get there I should do GED and then with that I will be able to stay in the USA. They didn't say anything about visa's though.When I talk to my girlfriend and tell her I need a visa of some kind then she thinks I'm talking about a visa credit card, she doesn't seem to know what a visa is besides the credit card kind.So yeah as for the visa's I'm doing that research totally on my own right now sadly and wish I had help, its extremely stressful and some days I feel sick to my stumic (spelling) with worries. To much worries and stress, most just the visas and being able to stay fact that worries me thats all.Its all extremely complicated and its very easy to get lost but luckily I'm not your average 17-18 year old...thank god otherwise I'd probably be doomed for sure right now.My girlfriend told me that both she and her mom have everything under control on her side and that I don't have to worry about it one bit, she says she is fully sure of her facts and that her way will work. She has never been wrong when she said that and she only says it when she is sure so I'm hoping this is like the other times. I'm however still looking into what they said about the GED and being able to stay in the usa via that way somehow, I can't fully remember everything they said but it was a lot, just remember them saying something bout GED right now and that I won't need a visa.Her mom says she knows the laws very well and that she knows what she is talking about so I'm hoping so. I'm extremely happy that her moms are fully supporting us and helping out so much.I apologize if my writing is confusing or not in nice order or something right now. Right now I'm just writing as I think of things, typing down my thoughts basically in a way.Explaining my whole situation so you can understand better and so you will be able to help better and give advice easier and better.My parents at the moment have no idea that me and Nicole are going to get engaged, they don't know about it at all and also don't know that I'm going to move out or move to the USA. I haven't told them yet since I already know what their reactions will be.They are going to totally and completely flip out, all hell will break lose on the day I tell them that. I suspect they will do everything they can in order to stop me from moving out and also from going over and also from marrying her if they know bout that to.I would so very much love it if I had their support with everything and their blessings but I seriously doubt they will give me that. They want me to stay in the house til I'm at least 21 and want me to study for a degree and finish it while in their home, they think if I move out I won't finish my studies and will just mess around. Thats not true though, my intentions are to finish my studies, I mean common where am I going to get without that, in todays world at the moment its nearly impossible to get a job even after you finish school, even if you have small qualifications its impossible so for me to study is a must, thats what I think.Like I said earlier I plan on finishing my studies when I head over. Anyway If everything is all good and such another problem remains, that is how to get to the airport to go to the USA. The airport is very far away from me. If my parents were all good with it I know they would take me but since I know they will be against it I don't know if they will still take me. Maybe they still will even if they are against it, I'm thinking from their point of view, I wouldn't want my son wondering off alone trying to find a way to get to the airport, I'd rather take him myself even if I'm against it and then at least know he got there safely.Ok but if they don't take me I will have to have another way to get there, I'm currently still working on that part. I'm trying to see if any of my friends will be able to take me, maybe one of them will be able to if I pay their gas money for them and maybe a lil extra for the usage of his/her car.If that doesn't work then its on to the third thing, that is to try get myself to the airport via busses and hiking lifts and such from people. One way or another. I'm very determined =PI'm also a extremely positive person that always smiles even during the worst of times, even right now while I'm stressing so very much and typing this I'm busy smiling and thinking positively. Moping won't get me anywhere, I'm the type of person that does something about the situation and finds a way or answer =] Just wish this whole immigration thing was more simple, the hardest part is being able to stay there, fiance will work but like I said earlier we don't want to get married til another 1-2 years when we have more money for a better wedding. When I did my research on the fiance I saw that they say that me and her have to have seen each other at least once in the past 2 years which we haven't yet. I haven't seen her in person yet. Ok BUT she is planning on coming over to me in South Africa around Jan or so after the holidays for a visit, then she can meet my parents and also see how it is in South Africa, we plan on getting engaged during that time. So yeah if she comes over then that will help with the fiance if we do decide to go that way. I'm keeping that in mind just in case.I'm going along with her and her moms way for now but I'm double checking everything they are saying and checking if it will work like they say. Talking to immigration people and such that give me advice on it.So yeah problems are, being able to stay there, which visa to get if I have to get one, will the way her and moms say work, and to get to the airport. =PI'm sorry for writing so much. Let me know what you think about what I said and if you see any problems and also what advice you can give.Me and my girlfriend have decided to tell my parents, mostly my dad around Jan about everything, we're going to tell him everything! He's a very understanding person so he might see it through if he sees my intentions are good and that it is what I want and that it will make me happy. My mom on the other hand, well shes a pretty much hopeless cause sadly =[When I say tell my dad everything it even includes that my girlfriend got raped many times a few years ago.She was raped for a whole year by the same person. She couldn't do anything about it because he was blackmailing her with so many things, one of them being treating to kill or at least seriously injure her friends. She's alright with it now, she has been ever since she has been with me since I fully support and comfort her with everything, I'm fully there for her with everything and help her in anyway possible.She's 1 year and 9 months older then me so she's 19 at the moment but that doesn't bother me or anyone else, its no problem at all =] Nobody would even know she is older then me unless we told them. Anyway this little part is just some general information, main stuff was what I wrote above it about the problems and such.I believe me and her will be fine =] Like when I asked earlier about that age thing, that was just another thing I was double checking on =P like I said I double check everything to make sure and do my research properly, so does my girlfriend.trying to find out if their way to get there is going to work as quick as possible cause if it isn't then we might have to go for k1 (fiance) visa or something and for example the k1 takes 6-9 months. She has to apply for the k1 for me on her side in the usa and then it will take 6-9 months so thats why I'm trying to check everything as quick as I can so IF we have to go this way that we can get the ball rolling as quick as possible to shorten the wait.Just wish I could remember the way they explained their way right now so I could type it down here for you to but can't right now. K but involves me going to GED when I get there and doing their test, I'll be able to pass it without any problem what so ever since I'm extremely good in all those things they ask the test, they are easy to me. So yeah GED won't be hard for me. K involves that and then somehow I'll be able to get my greencard that way they said and then to tell those people I'm staying with a american family and such and then once I get my greencard I will just have to keep renewing the thing, which will be annoying but its fine by me.Alrighty thank you for your help so far and for the help yet to come I really appreciate it all. Its helping out a lot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Dear Poster
Yes, with the new law, you will be considered an adult when you turn 18 and will not need the consent of your parents to leave the country.
However, you will have to take lots of things into consideration. Money to buy a return ticket; visa to enter America etc.
I do suggest you try and do it with the consent and blessing of your parents; specially when intending to be so far away, life is short and never part on bad terms if you can help. I hope not you are doing all this just to be with your girlfriend? Have you meet each other in person? How will you support yourself over there? Are you going to apply for a student visa? You will find it is not easy to get a visa that will allow you to work there; please do your homework carefully.
Your parents might not be happy about you wanting to leave, but do try and talk to them in a calm manner and explain to them and motivate your decision.It will be a lot easier for you if they support you; explain to them that this is a great opportunity for you to gain experience and try and discuss the positives and negatives with them. So, yes, they will have lots of negatives, listen to them carefully and if you don't have the answers for the problems; well then do your homework and find solutions; I am sure that if you can overcome most of there objections they will support you.
Lots of youngsters are leaving the country when they are at that age to study abroad or to travel and see more or some are hoping to find better opportunities.
As mentioned before, you have to investigate regarding the visas; there are lots of restrictions and plenty requirements. The American Embassy will be able to assist you with that.
Best wishes and good luck.
Always keep SMILING.
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