A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I moved countries to live with my boyfriend. In their country they speak a foreign language and I don't nderstand it. I am learning though. But my boyfriend is working late and even though I have a job I can't communicate with anyone in the office! I sit alone all day at work then go home to be alone again. He comes home about 8/9 PM. Last night I got really angry and called him names and he screamed and told me that he has had enough. He can't quit his job to hold my hand all day and he told me to leave! NOW the thing is he was very angry... so not sure how far to take his statement but also he can't do that coz I own half the stuff in the flat! It's as much my place as it is his! Do you think there can be a solution to anything. I am tired of being babysat as well. It takes time to learn a language. Any ideas people? Help us please we are so lost...
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): Hi there. It does sound like he was roaring in frustration at your inability to make this situation better for yourself. He is not responsible for resolving that and he likely was mad because you were complaining, you were angry, calling him names, etc and perhaps he felt resentful, because you were trying to make him feel responsible. Listen, I believe it's every individual's job (man/woman-doesn't matter) and as a person, to become fully realized by helping themselves, through life's challenging moments. You need to find some courage here, to do something outside yourself. You must take a more active role, in the quality of your own life, so that your bf can share in that growth, rather than becoming responsible for making 'your' life better. That's not his job..it's yours. I think the best thing you can do for yourself, is to come to an 'acceptance' of what is happening, then you apologize to him, and then you sign up for those language courses and work darned hard at it. This is what he'll take note of about you, and he'll respect your hard work and efforts, to making 'your' life easier. Stop expecting him to 'give' you this wonderful life..he wants to 'share' a wonderful life with you. Your bf cannot resolve your language problem, you have to do it all on your own, sweety. Get busy and begin learning today. He will love you for that and you will feel super that you are taking care of this problem....all on your own. Good luck and best wishes. xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Askoldersis is perfectly right. You present as aged 22-25 (overage) and currently living in Spain. You have chosen to move over to another country to be with your boyfriend. Well that was your choice, you should have prepared more carefully and at least tried to learn the language so that you could feel more at home.
Trying to learn a language is the easiest way to make friends. If you tell them (in their language) that you need someone to speak to and practice with, and smile a lot, then there will be many, many people who would love to help you out. You need to reach out and offer friendship and ask for help. Sitting and crying, screaming at your poor guy is doing you no good.
Find the phrase for "I don't speak your language, please be patient with me", then try to ask them what everything means and try out your language skills is always adorable and you will be a very popular young lady in no time at all.
PS: Don't be embarrassed by your lack of skills, try to think and learn as a child. Just point at different things and ask "what's that called, or what dose that mean?". Show interest in their language and culture and they will be so happy trying to turn you into one of them...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): I sympathise with you and it takes a long time to be able to speak a different language. In the workplace you can probably guess at what is going on by the laughing and body movements so join in and smile then and try to pick up on little phrases so you can add things even simple words like ok can help. Your boyfriend should be more supportive as you must be lonely. You have a job and you get out of the house so keep trying and giving it a go and each week that goes by it will be easier. Try to read a local language newspaper as well by looking at the pictures and then see what is written underneath as people have told me that helps a lot and watch the TV stations. Give it a bit longer before you think about going home as it will get better and you are learning more every day even if you don't realise it.
...............................
|
