A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm in a bad situation at the moment and don't know what to do.Ok, so my partner is VERY secretive about his laptop and phone(yet expects my codes!) and today he went out, anyway, I decided to do something wrong, I know, I opened his laptop and for some reason it bypassed the login password. I checked his emails and he has multiple accounts on dating websites (adult friend finder, toyboymansion and pof) I checked them out and he's searching for much older woman!He has been active recently, but on the other hand our relationship is sort of going out of the window. All his activity on the sites seem to be recent, he's messaged woman and on adult friend finder he's saved three woman as 'one night stand'I don't know if he would go through with it or if I should leave him?He spent his money on gold membership yet is out of a job and lending money from me, his mum and grandad on a daily basis. I don't have too many ties to him, we have a child, but not much between us fianancially except he owns our tv, cable and internet connection (even though i pay, they are his accounts)When we are good, we're good. It seems when we're on a bad patch he goes on these weird sites. But I don't know wha tto do? (he doesnt know that I know,,, yet, maybe..) help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2016): Why would you want to stay with someone who is actively looking for one night stands/other relationships?
Dump him immediatley. He doesn't deserve you. And more importantly, YOU don't deserve to be treated like this!
It'll be hard, but you can't let him treat you this how. How disrespectful!
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (5 March 2016):
 Probably, what makes you think he wont? hardly sounds like much of a catch does he. Stay and I think you will be making a bigger fool of yourself than he is doing right now.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 If this was me in your situation I would tell him to pack his bags and go. How dare he think it is okay to treat you like this. He is putting your little family in jeopardy by mailing these women. Obviously he doesn't care what pain he causes you, and I would al,out bed he will go ahead and have casual sex with these women. Your poor child doesn't deserve this going on in her home. Be the bigger and stronger person, get rid of him and find someone who will treat you with respect and try and work on problems not look for other women, good luck,
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 March 2016):
 I think you've learned all you need to know that this guy is not loyal to you....
Dump him... and get a real boyfriend....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2016):
 You write:
"When we are good, we're good. It seems when we're on a bad patch he goes on these weird sites. "
Seems like a bad excuse. When things are NOT working he starts to try and hook up with strangers. HOW is that going to fix the problems in the relationship? How is that even OK? Are you doing the same thing? Looking for male ONS or casual sex on the web? If not... why would it be OK for him to do?
He might and he might NOT meet up and hook up, but the INTEND is there. The thinking that he somehow is entitled to do so.
He spends money in a dating site that he hasn't even EARNED himself. So instead of you spending that money on something for your child HE spends it on a GOLD membership? Seriously?
So what you have is a bored unemployed partner who is looking for casual sex out side the relationship and who puts HIMSELF before you and his kid. IS that really a "Keeper" ?
Why are you holding on to this man so badly? Yes, I understand he is the father of your child, and you love him. But IS the relationship GOOD for you and your kid? Providing for a man who isn't "there" for you 100%? He is there because it's convenient and expected of him.
Time for you to spend some time thinking. Want to raise ONE kid or two? (your BF being the second one).
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