A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does this guy like me or is he just scared? I met this guy a little over a month ago, and we've hung out a few times since then. We talk almost every day. We've had sex once and almost every time he sees me he is very affectionate and intimate. He's not being sexual just affectionate when he does that. He always mentions that he likes me, in front of my friends, and has said that I am a potential girlfriend. However, he's been hurt in the past by his ex wife, and has told my friend jokingly that he wants a relationship but is scared. I know that he's got a lot going on in his life, and he's trying to get it all together, and I'm more than happy to give him some time if he needs that. I just want to know if he will ever commit, or if that is something I can only talk to him about?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2015): You've known him a month. So what's the rush?
You need to get to know him, and he needs time to get to know you. He likes you, but you're looking for some form of a commitment from someone you hardly know. He should be scared!!! He went through a divorce for crying out loud!!!
Rushing into relationships is why most don't last. Everyone wants immediate declarations of high affection and to be told they're loved. Besides the fact you had sex too soon; you're feeling remorse and regret about it. Now you need some affirmation from him that you didn't make a mistake.
You didn't make a mistake. It was consensual, just too soon.
Give him time, and don't let the fact you had sex put pressure on him telling you how he feels. It has to come when he knows for sure. You're still being evaluated. You should still be evaluating his character, and if he's your suitable match. It's too soon to tell either way.
Perhaps you fall for people too quickly; so you expect the same from the other person. It takes time to decide if or how much you like someone. Tossing sex in before you know; will cause you to behave as you are, and feel as you do.
Actions speak louder than words. Judge him by that, then you can bank on whatever he says to back it up.
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