A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 25 years old and at my ropes end. I got out of a really serious relationship about 2 years ago. I gave it my all and when it ended I felt I couldn't get emotionally attached to anyone for a very long time. I dated randomly but cared about no one. Then I met one guy in particular. We have quite a few friends in common. He got my number from a mutual friend and would constantly phone me to hang out and watch movies. Most times I was bored so I would go along with it. After a few weeks of hanging out he told me he liked me, but I told him I wasn't ready for anything serious. Infact I was still dating other guys. I made no effort whatsoever, I never contacted him, it was always him phoning me. He persisted, he would constantly phone me to hang out and I'm sorry to say that since I was still getting over my ex, I used him (along with the others), to distract myself. However, I was always honest with him about my feelings and he chose to stick around. Eventually he grew on me and I really started to like him. Things became more serious. A physical relationship started too. He told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend but I still didn't feel ready for that. 7 months of us being together, I finally decided to work through my issues with my ex because I really cared about this guy and I wanted to be able to give him a proper relationship, what he deserved. But it came too late. He said he couldn't be with me anymore, he'd been moving away from me emotionally it seems. Plus he was stressed out about work and had alot of things going on. He always puts so much pressure on himself to make money, provide for a family etc.I have no one to blame but myself, but I really want a second chance with this guy. We stopped hanging out and I knew that I couldn't harass him or seem desperate so I didn't contact him at all. When I was about ready to give up, he called to hang out, this was about after a month of no contact. But then he couldn't make it. He phoned me again the following week, in the middle of the night when he was drunk.After that, we didn't contact eachother at all, then a few days ago (this is 4 months after things had ended) he phoned me, drunk out of his mind...he'd been out partying with his friends then left and came driving around my area. He came over and made all kinds of confessions. He said he really missed me and the reason he disappeared is because he was in a strange headspace, and he also felt as though he wasn't good enough for me and he wanted to get his life together. I asked him if that's the only reason he disappears and he said it was. He also told me he hasn't been with anyone else in this time period. He said he finally knew what he wanted and now he was ready for things again.I slept over at his place that night. He invited me to a party the next day...I went with him but things felt awkward. He switched off...he implied that he wants me to move in with him but as friends. He told me he wants to be friends and that he couldn't remember what he'd said the night before, he was too drunk. It really hurt. I don't know what to believe or think anymore. I know how he felt about me once, he tried so hard and did everything for me, he was amazing. I can't accept that I don't get a second chance to make things right. Can I get him back? Or is it too late? I'm so worried that maybe NOW that he's seen me after so long, things don't feel the same for him and he may move on.Please help
View related questions:
drunk, money, move on, my ex, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for taking the time out to reply.
I agree with you, once something is broken, it hardly ever feels the same again. I think about that alot.
I just feel I can't give up on him just quite yet...I know how he felt about me and I guess you could say I'm not ready to believe that it's entirely lost.
I know he's confused and I'm prepared to wait until he sorts his life out...I owe him that much.
Personally I think he's lying about not remembering what was said. He would often confess things to me when he was drunk and the following day would admit that he speaks the truth when he's drunk.
I'll allow him his confusion, it's his right. But his confusion, in turn, confuses me.
If he had not contacted me at all, I would have tried to move on, but the fact that he does...I have hope that there's still a chance...
But alas, I just don't know, nothing is set in stone.
But thank you again for your response, it's much appreciated.
|
