A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've made out with a guy who is 11 years older than me. He was my graduate student instructor last year but we started hanging out this year in March. in Fed, he met me again and talked to me and also asked for my #. One week later, he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee with him but I didn't get his phone call. I emailed him regarding his voice mail and told him maybe we could hang out next time. Ever since that, we started to email each other everyday to talk about random stuff and literature.The next Friday, we met and had coffee and talked for an hr. We went to an event together on March 2nd and he walked me home and we chatted outside of my apt. On March 7th, I met him in the library and we had dinner together. He told me he planned to see a movie so I went along with him. We were emailing each other from Feb to March, until one day in March, we were "email chatting" and it was such a hassle so we added each other' msn. He didn't used msn for yrs but he installed it just to talk to me.We started talking online almost every night. It was fun. And on the 20th of March, he brought me home and cooked for me. =) We saw a movie on his computer afterward. He would rub my neck, hair, and back during movie, but it was not sexual at all and I liked it. I went out of town for 10 days from 20th to 30th in March. I texted him and we chatted online when I was in hotel. March 30th, the first day that I was back, we met each other after school at my place. He asked me if he could kiss me but I didn't let him because he didn't tell me that he liked me. And i also asked him "we are not going out right?" because I wasn't sure if he liked me and I was testing him in an awful way. He told me we were not. that night, I told him on msn that I was not a person who hook up with frds.We were still friends afterward. we had dinner together and saw movies, and he finally kissed me during a movie. We made out after that movie but I was mainly confused. I asked him if we were dating he said yes and he wasn't dating anybody else. I asked him what he thought of me but he said he didn't describe people he knows. He told me he had fun with me.I was mad at him but he didn't know. One day later I wrote him an email saying although I didn't care about the age differences, I was young and cute and it was easy for me to find guys. I told him I was freaking out because i didn't know what we were. He tried to talk to me online but it didn't work out well. I was hoping some kind of confession says that he liked me and wanted to have an exclusive relationship with me in the future or so but he didn't say anything sweet.We had dinner again on that Thursday (March 9th). He were cuddling at my place. We hang out again on Friday and Sat. He cooked for me and we saw movies. More cuddling, and he unhooked my bra on sat. I asked him a question later that night and he found it offensive. I told him that i was sad because we were not in a relationship, we were not dating, and it seemed we were not even frds. He then told me he thought I was telling him we were not going out when I asked "we are not dating right?" that was why he didn't say anything. But he didn't ask me to be his gf that night. He said "let's make it simple, let's be frd." I was mad so I cut him off, blocked-deleted his msn, deleted his phone number. I saw him 2 days later and he smiled to me but we didn't get a chance to talk because I was in lecture. It seemed he didn't know I was mad at him and wanted to cut him off. We haven't talked since the day he said "let's be frds". I don't know what I am doing. Tomorrow will be Friday and that's the day we normally hang out together. There is a high chance that we will bump into each other on campus(I am looking forward to to be honest )Do you think I should cut him off completely. Is worth my time and energy? I think what is freaking me out is I always have male friends come to be and tell me they like me and think I am special, and they wanted to be my bfs. But this guy just hangs out with me, kisses me, and cuddles with me. I am not sure what he wanted from me. I tried to talk to him but I think he feels I am pushing him into an relationship. I tried to talk to him about it but the problem was I could never be honest and tell him I want to be his gf and he never asked me to be his gf. I don't think I need another conversation with him because i know it won't lead us any where. Maybe he wants to go with the flow? I do have other people asking me to be their gf right now and I feel there is more respect if they do it that way yet I now only see them as friends.Do you think I am too demanding and dramatic? What should I do. I keep telling myself to cut him off and move on but I really want to see him again. All I need is him looking at me and be serious and tell me he likes me and wants me to be his gf some time in the future. What should I do he I see him tmr? He didn't text me or call me or email me ever since I cut him off. Do you think that shows he is not that into me?
View related questions:
bra , move on, msn, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaww Samantha, you are sweet. =)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This sounds like a confusing situation, and it must be distressing for you.I think that maybe this guy is confused about what you want from him, and vice-versa. That may be why he has backed off a bit.Firstly, I think you need to be clear with yourself about what you want. Do you want him as a partner? Would you like a relationship with him? What kind? Friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend,etc? Once you know what you want, I think it might help to talk openly to him. Just tell him what is going on for you. If you need him to say "You are my girlfriend", to make you feel secure, then tell him this. He won't know otherwise. Also, ask him what he wants, and tell him you want an honest, clear answer.If he can't or won't give you a clear answer, then maybe it might be time to try and move on, although it is your decision. Otherwise, you might remain in a confused situation, and it must be pretty upsetting for you.Whatever you decide to do, good luck, and I hope tomorrow goes okay. I'll be thinking of you. x
...............................
|
