A
female
age
41-50,
*ennaHB
writes:1,5 months ago I was in the ER (I work as a doctor). I had a patient who, upon arriving was in a lot of pain. When it was all over a few hours later and he was pain-free, he told me a big thanks for the way I had treated him (by this time his father had joined him to get him back home)(he is 38 – the guy, not the father lol). As I said it is the kind of pain that will eventually come back, he smiled big at me and said that he would come to the hospital, hoping to see me again. Looking at his chart, I replied that since we live in the same neighborhood, it would be a lot nicer to see him at the grocery store or something and not in the ER with him in pain. He then said that, as he worked as a chef in a local restaurant, he would be delighted to see me there. Right about now, I became intrigued because he was (obviously) flirting but not in a gross way, as many men do. So I just wrote down for myself his name and his workplace and a few days later I sent a little message over facebook asking how he was (very unprofessional!) Anyway, not getting a reply, I put the whole thing behind me.Last week, I was talking to my best friend and told her the story from the ER. She said that the guy seemed genuinely interested in me so why not give it a shot and have dinner there on Saturday? At this point, you should probably know I have been single for the last couple of years by choice due to past disappointments. So I was not eager to put myself out there, risking the guy to not even remember me. My friend said that, as everything showed, the guy was not married, nor had a gf (I had previously commented to her that when coming to ER, I had noticed that more than 90% of patients(men) came accompanied by wife/gf, while women more often came alone).On Saturday night, I was supposed to go to the restaurant with my friend + her husband + 2 kids (ages 5 and 8) along with another family of friends: man + woman + kid. BUT the other woman got sick and stayed at home, while still sending the husband + kid. At first I thought:”No problem!”, as I knew the other family as well. Anyway, after we ordered, I went to the bar and asked the waiter to tell JJ I wanted to say hello. This was difficult for me to do as I feared he would not remember me and I would have to pass through an embarrassing moment reminding him of our first encounter. BUT to my surprise, upon seeing me from afar, it took him less than 2 seconds to recognize me and said in a loud voice and with a big smile:”Heey, this is my doctor ….” And then came to me and kissed me on both cheeks(it’s a Spanish habit so it doesn’t necessarily mean more than hello) Then we chitchatted over the fact that he had had another episode and asked me a few things about his kidney stone ……. He then said it was a pleasure to see me again, kissed me and returned to work.As it would seem, I appeared to be there with MY family, as the other woman was missing ……. so I thought I had fu*ked it up royally. Giving it a thought and realizing he just told me that it was terrible waiting in line for 6 hours in another hospital, it seemed a good idea to give him my number in case he might have a crisis (very unprofessional again!)Upon leaving, my friend suggested we (the 2 girls) should say bye to JJ and thanks for cooking such delicious courses and she told me to stay away from my friend + kid as the waiter appeared to be looking if the people I came with really were my husband + kid. My (semi-paranoid) guess is that JJ had said to the waiter to look close-up and report back to him.So we leave and the next day he sends me a facebook reply to my message from a month ago saying I am very good in what I do and as a person and by what I do I have gained my place in heaven already (this was a bit confusing). So I briefly replied saying it was a pleasure seeing him at his work and that he could come to me for help if needed.My dilemma is if he is ever going to call as I fear it was not clear for him that I am not married, or maybe he fears that even asking me out, I would say no just for him being a chef and not a doctor too. Or maybe he is just married and then all this wondering is useless. He seemed very flirty and the truth is I like him a lot, I don’t know why but I feel drawn to him. At the same time, I don’t want to appear needy, I already think I have given him all the clues towards the fact that I want to go out with him.As I have been out of the dating world for a few years, can anyone help with an update: how much would you wait for him to call? Or is it possible for him to call only when in need of medical attention? I really think that doing anything more towards showing my interest is inappropriate. Is it possible that he fears rejection, therefore he will not ask me out?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 By reading this I get the feeling that he had an innocent flirt with you but that was about all it was. He did sound happy to see you, but if he was really interested he would be flirting with you over the internet now and trying to see how you respond. He didn't even bother to reply to your message until he saw you in the restaurant. So my guess would be not to hope for to much on this one. Because I think he was just being flirty but friendly.
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