A
male
age
30-35,
*hane2483
writes: Will being friends with her make it impossible to get over her?i was with my gf for a year i loved that girl more then anything.but then i got real drunk and received and have oral to another girl.i told my gf but she didnt say much but asked me to leave cause she needed to think. she broke up with me 2 days later. i tried everything to get her back over the last 3 weeks. she still wants to be friends now but and i see her a fair bit still.and i no she still likes me we have had intercourse like 4 times since we broke up.and when we are together we seem happy as ever. but she still dont want to get bak with me. shes starting to move on from the cheating thing shes hinted.just more angry at the girl.but shes really independent and dont want to be in a relationship right now she said.she wants me to move on.but she also wants to be friends and so do i.i just dont want to chuck her out of my lifebut im finding it so hard to move on from her let alone while we are talking still.can i get over her and just become friends all at the same time?is that possible?i really just want her to be happyeven if its a my expense.so confusedhelp pls
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male
reader, shane2483 +, writes (1 August 2007):
shane2483 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea thanks i dont think it would be possible to get over her while im friends with her saw her talking to one of her ex's and got real angry and hurtso i wrote her a nice letter explaining why we couldn't be friends and stuff and should move on till im over her in a.she acted like she didnt care but i no she was hurt.but it is best for both of usthanks again
A
female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (31 July 2007):
I think the only way through this is to get over her and not try to get her back anymore. She's made her decision and you have to respect that.
But rule number one of breaking up is no sex with the ex. You will find it impossible to get over her if you are still sleeping with her. I think that you need to stop seeing her now and actually break off from eachother. Reasons why are:
-If you're separated she is more likely to miss you but don't depend on this, she might not come back.
- If you break away from her, the first few days or weeks will be hard but it will help in the long run if you distance from her now until you feel that you can see her without feeling what you feel at the moment.
- I'm sorry to say this, but you have to remember that you were the one in the wrong. You have to let her make her mind up about whether she wants to be with you or not. Try not to force her to get back with you, if she wants you back she'll come back. Give her some space.
Visualise a box, Put everything you had with her into it and throw away the key. That was a section of your life and I'm sorry but it's over. Move on and find someone new.
I hope I helped a bit. :)
Take carexx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): you wont get over her by being friends. you could be friends when you are 100% over her. When she introduces her new guy to you and you can feel no resentment and hurt and talk to him too,then you know you are over it. In the meantime,why not put your time and energy somewhere else?
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