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anonymous
writes: I've been with my new girlfriend for 3 months and it's been going great. I was really looking forward to seeing her on her night off but she texted me and said she was ill and had been sick. Later, when I went out for a drive I saw her in a pub car-park with her mates (they're famale). It's probably not much, but why did she tell me she was ill when we were both looking forward to meeting up? I'd call her but i think its better to sort it out face to face when I see her again (4 days time). I just want to know what to say/do??!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2005): You might be like getting into her personal space too much and she needed time alone but didn't want to tell you because she didn't want to hurt you or anything. I'd ask her if she wants time alone that she can just say that, and you will be fine with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2005): I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sometimes girls do not wanna feel like they are letting their partner down, so instead of saying they're going out with mates they'll say they are ill instead. This way she probably thought she wasn't making you feel as though she was chosing her friends over you. She still wants to be with you but you probably need to give her some extra space.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005): I wouldn't make a big deal of it. It may have just been a little white lie. Just tell her you thought you saw her at the pub and if she did want to go with her friends, she should have just said.Or, you could have mis-read your relationship with her, or indeed mis-read HER. She may not feel the same as you or she could be devious.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005): I understand this problem conpletely, cuz I did this a few times with my bf. Even though I'm mad about him, I still like to have my girly nights out. Don't take this as a personal offence. I don't know your gf, but being a chick myself I know the only reason she said she was sick was prob because she wanted to go on a girly night out and didn't know how to tell you, in case you thought she was going off you or didnt wanna see you etc. It has nothing to do with you; she just wanted to see her friends on her night off. The best approach you can take is to tell her you saw her with her friends that night and you're totally fine with her going out with the girls when she wants to,(even if you're not, just say you are, otherwise she'll feel you're trying to control her). Just tell her she doesn't need to lie to you about it and you understand she needs to see her friends too. (She'll really respect you for your maturity - trust me)Whatever happens, don't make a big deal out of it, cuz it might scare her off. Hope that helps! luv Jen X
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (29 March 2005):
 It could simply be that she was feeling ill and started to feel better. She could have made plans with the girls and thought you would be upset if she went out with them instead of you, so the easier option for her was to tell a little white lie! She may be going off the boil a little, in which case talk to her about it. Ask her what she would like to do where she would like to go, try to subtly ask her if she enjoys still spending time with you. Unless you talk to her it's going to eat you up. I would say ignore this for the time being and see what happens, but it's likely to fester if you don't mention it. Just casually say that you saw her with her friends that night she said she was ill, and that you were surprised to see her out, and was glad that she had got better! Then take it from there. If she does really still like you she will come clean and tell you why she told the fib. At least then you will know where you stand.All the best x
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