A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I should first point out this girl doesn't drink and party on a regular basis, she's very close to her immediate family and definitely a family person, loves kids and is going to be a teacher, and due to a 2-year long relationship ending badly for her nearly 2 years ago, and a few other guys abruptly dumping her early, I think she has become very kept to herself and sometimes hard to understand.I’ve known this girl for about a year. We never kissed or held each other but have had good times together and we normally communicate well. I tried for her a year ago, but she was set on going back to another guy that she rejected, and my chance ended. Sense the first day of classes (3 weeks ago) we've been texting each other about every day. We’ve seen each other in person several times at work and at school, and I just love seeing that big smile on her face when she looks at me. I made a few 'risky' moves over text messaging that worked in my favor, and she was beginning to initiate conversations and flirt back with me more frequently. Last Tuesday I invited her to lunch in the morning and she immediately responded after her 3 hour morning class, and we went to an Italian restaurant. Again we had a nice time together talking about all sorts of things.Afterwards I told her I would text her later and she smiled and made me feel like I had the go ahead. I did, and got no response. Yesterday I texted her telling her to have fun on her family trip over the weekend and got no response. I'm thinking of trying again in a few days with: "hey how was your trip? Haven't heard from you lately, are you still alive?" I feel really bad too because I was just a day shy of making a much bigger move.Is it possible for a girl to enjoy (or maybe pretend to enjoy) interacting with a guy and all of the sudden just change her mind? Or is this more of a lie low and wait and see kind of thing? I feel like I've drastically jumped with where I stand with her and I'm not sure why...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Little anxious I see. Thats okay man. Calm down. Shes just probably busy and youll hear back from here. Last thing any woman wants is to be overhwhelmed with messages. Youve shown your interest...just be patient and wait for her response. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Just because she didn't text you back doesn't mean she's lost interest. She hasn't texted you back because she's busy with family. That's what I would assume given what you said. When I'm with family, especially on a holiday or on vacation, I'm in a different frame of mind. Sometimes I don't take calls or answer texts until I return from the visit.She definitely considers you a friend and she probably even likes flirting with you, but perhaps its time to take it up a notch from texting. I'm not a fan of flirting or keeping up with people via text. There is not as much room for nuance, the technology sets people up to want instant gratification, and in a sense, it is a less risky way to flirt with someone...it can make you come off as a coward or worse just kind of creepy. I understand the appeal and I've definitely spent too much time checking my phone for a response I really wanted. But, no one wants to be available 24/7, especially not on a family vacation. Let her contact you for a change. If she doesn't then stop hiding behind your phone and ask her out on a date.I recently "changed my mind" about a man who texted way too much. I hinted that I didn't really like the daily texting, but he didn't take the hint. When I didn't respond as promptly as he wanted me to at one point, he got worried and started texting even more. I have since blocked him after I told him I needed space and he kept texting/calling. She's flirting with you which is a good sign, but if she's a private individual and hard to understand as you say, it might be worth taking the trouble to try to get to know her one on one in person.
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