A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hiya i met this guy through facebook and we just started off as friends known each other for nearly 2 months. but its been hectic 2 months we tried going out twice and ended up breaking up one reason because my ex 2nd reason because it all got too much as he got a new job and was keeping me out the loop.im 18 he's 19 he lives in london 3 hours away from me.. but as we decided 2 be mates we got more closer and feelings were still there. two days ago he told me he loves me on the phone and miss's me. we talked for nearly two hours the past two days and we're both afraid of being hurt because my family are religious and traditional i can only marry the guy same caste and race as me.. but "S" (the guy) is Christian im Sikh and we're both virgins cuz we think its special both want to wait but he even said he'd want to loose it to me because never felt like this about any one ( not right now he not after just sex!)..i told him we can meet half way so 1 half hour travelling but we were both so confused i do love him and i know he loves me but don't know what to do.now for past day he been ignoring me on msn and on text... my friends said he needs time cuz we spoke so much about waiting to be together for ever and everything..but why would he need time and why does he ignore me?? i sent him a message saying how i dont want to hurt him so if he wants we can be friends but i dont want that to happen and im confused..but he said we're both in the same boat.please help me i think he is the one. im not a stupid girl i have met guys before in real life etc but never been so strong with them and went through so much yet felt the sam as i have with "S".thanks
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female
reader, Katja1284  +, writes (16 May 2009):
Hey dear,
i absolutely know what ur going through. I can severely tell you that he's NOT just after sex..somebody who gets involved with sikhism learns, that there is also another sight then just our surface, western way to think.
He fell in love with u but they have a very strong connection to their parents and those arrange marriages only with sikh girl they choose on their own.
so i think i uses that time now to think about what he wants and what his parents want him to do but in at the end he probably follows his family and culture cause this influence is very very strong..
luv katja
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou were right now hes totally ignoring me after i said just want to be friends and dont want sex.o wel
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): hiya army medic thanks for replying but he isn't to be honest thats what great about him/... he waiting til marriage or until we're together for ages. he doesn't want to "sin" and he only said that once thats it because i told him i want him to be my first and last everything.
and we were flirting that night and he stopped it because said how he's treating me bad cuz doesn't know how things are going and it dis repectful on me if he flirts and even though both were into it. he stopped blew me a kiss and said night.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (11 April 2009):
 I hate to say this but I think he is just after sex and he just saying these nice things to you because this is what you want to hear.
He is ignoring you because things aren't going his way. I hope I am wrong but, these internet relationships don't seem to be the best way to fall in love because you are both just typing your fantasies it's like a two way book where you can just block out real life and real issues.
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