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Why would he keep these intimate pics of his exes?

Tagged as: Pornography, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi I have been with my partner for 3 years now. About 2 years ago I came across semi naked and naked pics of a couple of his ex girlfriends, he did get rid of them. Then I found more on his pc which he said he didnt realise they were there and has deleted any intimate ones. Now I have come across a cd with all the pics on it and I can't help feeling this is why he got rid of them because he knew he had back ups of them. This is making me feel very insecure and second best and I honestly don't get why someone would keep these things when in another serious relationship. Does it mean he still has feelings for them? Normal pics I have no problem with just the more intimate ones. I know the past is the past and they are just memories but he knows how I feel and yet still he has them, not sure where to go from here really.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex, insecure, nude pictures

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012):

What the hell? I think a picture of him and her with clothes is okay but finding nude pictures etc.

Thats not normal, is that flame truly over?

How would he feel if he found pictures of another man naked or you guys getting down and dirty? Eyebrow would be raised.

I went through something similar but I stumbled upon videos of them having sex-- it was not a sight to see. Question him the very next day. I do not think having shit like that is a good idea b/c like i say it makes a person believe are they ready to move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012):

Hi I am the original poster.

The first lot of pics I found I was looking through our storage things piled up, on pc was him downloading files onto a hard drive and I saw files with their names on so I asked about them, and the cd is in a folder with comp games and to be honest I havn't looked at it but the date coincides on the cd with the word photos, says it all, and I don't want another argument about it.

To the second person who responded your first paragraph is exactly what i'm worried about, does he still hanker after them. Everytime I have said how I feel about them it seems to come across like i'm just paranoid. How did you and your gf sort this out?

My partner acts like I want him not to have had a past but that really is not the case, its the intimate pics I cant stand not other pics of him and exes, especially as he still is in contact with these exes. Why when he became serious about me did the pics not go why only after I found them? He swears he loves only me and wants to be with me forever.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (11 December 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt"I came across semi naked and naked pics of a couple of his ex girlfriends,"

then:

" I found more on his pc"

" Now I have come across a cd"

I have to ask

since you have "come across" these and he didn't even realize they were there are you SNOOPING? I mean how do you "come across" things o his computer? How do you find a CD that probably was filed away?

why are you snooping?

was he LOOKING at these pictures or just had them on a CD or in a file?

I am sure if my husband digs hard enough in my old files he would find intimate pics from my last marriage... I don't look at them, I don't think about them, they have no meaning to me at this point... but I have a hard time deleting pictures or throwing out hard copies... so maybe they were just in files or filed away and you are digging for them?

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A male reader, Acudi24 United States +, writes (11 December 2012):

Ok where should we start. i actually have experienced this because i did it myself in which i regret. As a man who has done this before, having pics of their exes its because he still talks to them behind your back, or trying to have sex with them. how do i know? because i did the exact samething.

what you should yreally do is having a serious talk and ask him why does he have those pictures still? does he want to be in a serious relationship? is he doing anything with them? and ask him to be honest. thats the best thing to do is to talk about it because thats what i did when i was in the same position. thats the best thing to do because that is how we solved the problem about girls and exes.

if you have any questions or concerns feel free to comment back, ask about my experience and situation and how we fought through it.

hope all goes well.

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