A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,So i recently started dating a guy call him Jay, we really get along and love spending time together but we have tryed to have sex twice and his erection goes floppyish when we are about to have sex but when we are kissing and i play aorund with him its hard ? i am so confused on what the answer to this is i have asked him if maybe we should just be friends or maybe he isn't attracted to me like that but he disagree's and says he is really sexuall attracted to me and he doesn't know himself whats happening ( he hasnt had sex for a year) so idk if that means anything but some answers or knowledge will be really appreciated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 It sounds to me like it is anxiety stopping him, am sure he is attracted to you so dont worry about this, he is getting hard when you mess around therefore that means that everything is ok and he can get an erection, if it just comes to before sex that he is losing it then he is worrying about something, it could be that he is not to experienced and he is unsure on what to do therefore it is making him nervous and its losing his erection he needs to relax. Tell him that you are going to take the lead and all he has to do is lie there, get on top of him, kiss and touch him get him hard, then use your hand to enter him in to you and take it slowly hopefully he will be relaxed as you are taking the lead and then after that hopefully things will get better with practice. Goodluck. let me know how it goes.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (22 November 2010):
Nerves could well be one of the reasons here. Sometimes they can get the better of a man at the crucial moment.It could be because he hasn't had it for a while or because he doesn't want to be a disappointment in bed.Just try and relax as much as possible. You don't have to dive right into sex. He is obviously attracted to you given he gets hard when you're kissing etc, but have you made him climax orally or through masturbating him?This could be a way in.The other possible cause could be condoms, assuming you use them. Many men find them a "passion killer" but you don't need me to tell you the importance of using them.
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