A
female
age
26-29,
*ove_Guru403
writes:So I've been dating this guy for a few months and we really love each other. The only problem is that he failed a grade and I get to go to the next grade. This is out conversationHim- "I think we need to break up. Well honestly, I failed math and I'll have to repeat. You're the most amazing girl ever and you don't deserve a relationship over Facebook. You have no idea how painful this is but we're barely going to see each other anymore."Me- "You don't need to if you don't want to. If you need help with any classes I'd be glad to assist you. I'm not trying to manipulate you but you seriously think we couldn't work something out? I will still love you no matter what, Facebook or not."Him- "C'mon, be realistic, you're going to have no classes, friends, work, you're going to forget all about me. The only time we would see each other is on Facebook and I don't want to do that to you. I'm just holding you back"Me- "No you're not, and I will never forget you. If you feel like you should then okay. That won't change how I feel."Him- "I'm really sorry I'm just so confused right now."Me- "What about?" (I wasn't sure, don't judge)Him- "About what to do. I love you but this whole situation is killing me. And you're not making it worse, I just need time to think."Me- "Okay, go do your thinking. Goodbye."Him- "Bye"So what do I do? I have depression and I was planning on telling him about it but he dropped this bombshell and I don't want him thinking I just want his attention. I need somewhere to vent to. You don't have to answer, but I would love to read your input. To be honest, I am confused about this situation as well. Do I let him leave? Do I try for him again? Do I do anything? Why didn't I help him with math? I'm happy if he's happy, and I want the best for him, but I don't know what that is!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2012):
 You can't MAKE him be in a relationship where he thinks he doesn't belong.
Give him some space and maybe he will get his head out of his bum and realize that you two can make it work, or he won't.
Either way, Set him free.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (13 August 2012):
 young love that has faltered is always sad. And it must be a horrible feeling that you may have lost him.
But this may only be temporarily or held in check for a couple of years
Try to keep busy and do not go looking for another guy.
You are not less if you do not have a boyfriend.
And this guy was special to you.
I suspect one or both of his parents have put their foot down. And told their son that he is not giving his studies enough attention.
And he possibly got a horrible shock when he failed a grade. And I expect his parents sat their son down for a serious talk about why he failed a grade.
Never try to fight the edicts of a parent of a BF as you will always lose. The parents house him, love him, hug him, feed him, provide him with his worldly needs and feed him.
Until he is older his parents would always come out first.
And if you act up about this and try to chnage his mind his parents may start to feel uncomfortable about their son choosing girls over his studies.
In time you may be able to get him back by you too concentrating on your studies. And if he sees you doing that and notices that you have not quickly replaced him with another girl then he may continue to hold a torch for you until he is a little older and is able to spend more time with you.
But at this point if you try too hard to get him back I think you may alienate one or both of his parents and that will not help you.
Although it is sad for you, please accept that as deep as his Crush is on you and as much as you care for him, that the time has come to accept that some things, like young love, are sometimes hard to sustain. But that in a couple of years reunions of an original crush are not unknown
Can you think of some other activities or hobbies you could develop? To enjoy and learn some new skills in addition to your studies.
Also stay fit and eat healthy and regularly clean, tone and nourish your skin. That way when you are 17 he may be meserized by you all over again.
Patience is a skill we resist learning but which will stand us in good stead as we age.
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