A
female
age
30-35,
*attkatt
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and I am 8 months pregnant. The day before yesterday he got a text message from his ex that said "why would you send me a text that says arm" I asked him what she was talking about he said he didn't know and she was a psycho and he deleted it right away, I was like ok whatever. I asked him how she got his number and he said a friend might have given it her, I was real skeptical about it and he said he didn't want to argue with me about it, I told him I wasn't arguing about it and I just bit my tongue and held it all in. Last night he was upstairs and his phone was downstairs. I couldn't help but to look, it had been bothering me really bad why she would send that. I looked in his sent box and it was empty then I looked in his sent pictures box and there was a picture of a piece of paper and the word "arm" written on there. I went upstairs and asked him why he sent it to her but most of all why he had lied to me. He said he didn't know and that he lied bacause he didn't want to argue. I was really upset about it and he insisted that he he didn't know why he sent that and I was standing there thinking her fist name is with an [a] and her middle name is with an [r] and his last name is with an m. and I told him why he did it and he didn't deny it or anything and he just said he didn't know, he sent it to show her that is what she would of had and I was like what a load of bull. He sent her the message around the same time he sent me a pic that said I love you written on paper. I asked him if he wrote it on the same paper he said no, I told him he can't have both of us and I left to go down stairs, he followed me and said that he doesn't want her and I was like then why did you send it, he said he didn't know, then he started saying that I didn't pay attention to him and we don't like the same music and that I don't even sit there and hear him play music any more and that all I do is sleep and we have nothing in common and that he wants me to be there for him. I told him I'm pregnant for gods sake and I went upstaris and he followed and he just said he wanted me to listen more to him.I asked him if he listens to me he said no because what I tell him doesn't interest him, I was like exactly and he started crying and I hate when he cries. He said he loved me and that he wouldn't have asked me to marry him if he didn't and he wouldn't be with me if he didn't and that I'm having his baby, doesn't that prove anything? I told him I didn't know anymore and I said that I don't think he's ready to get married and gave him the ring back and he said I didn't love him. I told him I do but I want him to be ready because it seems like he is not he was tearing up crying and I hugged him but was cold to him and he fell asleep in my arms. I looked online at his cell phone bill and he has never talked to her before this past text and he woke up and thinks things are ok now but I don't know how to feel about this, I am hurt, I am pregnant, I have all these emotions and I know for a fact he hasn't talked to her or seen her cause he's always at home and we work together, he doesn't like going out or drinking and friends come over to our house so I know he hasn't touched her or technically cheated pshycally. I don't know why he did that and how I should react or feel, I honestly don't know. I am so confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (27 October 2008):
 first i wanna say congrats! having a baby is the most exciting thing you'll ever go through.
as far as your question....
wow i think i'm just as confused as you are.
how long were him and his ex dating and who broke up with who? that could make a big differnce.
even if he did send that to her to "show her what she would have had" it doesn't make it any better and it doesn't make any sense.
On the other hand though he could just be freaking out because in a month he's gonna have a kid. People take big news differently.
It's kinda hard to tell seeing as how I don't know him and his personality.
Wish I could have been more of a help.
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