A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. This story is slightly complicated. A few months ago a group of guys started working at my workplace. They were there to do some building work for a couple of months. They left last week.I got quite friendly with two of the guys. One of them (guy A) seemed pretty in to me but i wasn't attracted to him. He'd ask me out and i'd laugh it off and turn him down. I liked him as a friend though so i gave him my number. He'd literally text me everyday and call me pretty often just to have a chat. The other guy (guy B) was quite shy around me and i was actually attracted to him. We'd text sometimes but because i actually liked him i'd usually leave it up to him to text me so we didn't text as often as i'd like.Anyway, as i work with mostly women rumours started about who was talking, texting or calling who and i guess jealousy and bitchiness started. People made up a rumour that guy B had slept with a co-worker but he denied it ever happened and got quite upset about it. After that rumours started coming from everywhere about everyone. I try stay out of gossip but somebody told me today that guy A had told a few people that i'd been sleeping with him.I burst out crying purely because i was so angry and i wouldn't do that. I actually thought he was a friend. I rang him and told him what i'd heard and if it was true. He suddenly got defensive, denied it and said that i was an "ugly bitch" and that he never liked me anyway. He also said that guy B would never like me as i'm not up to his standards and that they actually didn't like any of us. Even though guy B had been texting another girl at work. After i put the phone down he text me saying to delete his number so i did. A few hours later he starts texting me trying to get a reaction but i ignore it.I text guy B and told him i was upset about what had happened. He text back saying that he was sorry about everything that happened and that he hadn't said anything about me. I'm mainly upset that i was called ugly because i have very little self esteem. Before well fell out he'd be flirting with me all the time, calling me beautiful etc but today when i called him he was like another person. Secondly it hurt to find out that his friend, the guy i liked, had been texting some other girl, trying to sleep with her. Is it normal for a guy to get so angry? Why would he call me ugly and deny liking me? People at work said to just forget what he said but i can't.
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at work, co-worker, flirt, girl at work, I work with, jealous, self esteem, shy, text, workplace Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 October 2014):
 Well, take it as a lesson in how fake people can be.
First of all the rumors might NOT have been started by guy A, but one of YOUR co-workers. You went of on "A" half-cocked, and he retaliated in full, by calling you a ugly B. So it's NOT like only one of you were at fault. I mean, let's pretend for a minute that he DIDN'T spread the rumors.. HOW do you think he would feel being accused of spreading lies and gossip? Angry, right? Does his comment mean that you are now ugly? Of course not. He said whatever popped into his mind that would HURT you back, and UGLY was was the first thing he could come up with. YOU hurt HIS feeling, he lashed out wanting to HURT yours too.
Was he rude? yes. Would I delete and block his number? yes. Would I CARE what he thinks? no. You didn't "like like" him, so no sweat of your brow. But at least now you know he isn't friend material either.
In the future maybe be more focussed on being professional rather than flirt and text with short or long term co-workers/workers. I really DO think that people needs to keep the "romance" and flirting to a minimum at work. Because when things doesn't pan out, you get DRAMA.
Cut the drama, the guys are gone. BLock them of your phone, delete their numbers and... avoid gossip and mindless flirtations at work. It sounds like you work with a whole farm of drama-llamas.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2014): Op here.
The guy I liked did actually ask me to the movies once but I said no as I was embarrassed. He used to get the guy I didn't like to ask if I was interested in him but he also asked me if I was interested in anyone so I assumed that he was some what interested in me. I get the impression he maybe thought I wasn't into him as I'm quite shy so he moved on to another girl. Or maybe he just wanted something physical and realised he wouldn't get it from me.
He text me last night telling me not to worry about what happened. He's deleted everyone from work off his Facebook, including the girl he was texting but he hasn't deleted me. Well, not yet anyway. Why would he keep me on there?
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A
male
reader, LoveIsEternalToOnlyOne +, writes (4 October 2014):
It's completely normal, guys have their natural denfensive ways as women do, either way not all men are the same. Just put it behind you because you as a strong independent woman are beautiful in your own way as any other is, go out with the girls for a day with just the girls dancing or what not & just do you in whatever way you feel is right
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