A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating for over a year now. Her brother who is gay has lived in her home for as long as I have known her.I have noticed several times - dating sites browsing men's profiles. She always said it was her brother looking at them, not to say anything to embarrass him, and I thought no more. It's just occurred to me, why would an openly gay man be looking at straight men on a straight dating site? Am I being insecure or paranoid?
View related questions:
am I being paranoid, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (14 April 2015):
 It sounds like she`s cheating on you, or has plans to. The trouble is, you are not allowed to say anything about it, so it cannot resolve.
I`ve been through this myself. Unfortunately, it never got any better. I would think very carefully and act on it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): Thank you to those who answered. I think what I wrote was only the tip of the iceberg. I did actually joke (and that was all it was), that it was her and she got extremely angry and accused me of cheating myself, and her reaction is what aroused my suspicion in the first place.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): Sorry if you are looking for some reassurance, but I suspect she is using her brother to cover her tracks. That is why, I believe, she does not want you to say anything to her brother. It is probably herself shes trying to protect, not her brothers. He would go to a gay dating site if it was him. This has been several times you say. Trust your gut feelings.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 I agree with Wise.
Being gay or straight doesn't mean you ONLY look at websites catering to your sexual orientation. A good looking dude is a GOOD looking dude whether he is gay,straight,bi or asexual.
IS there a reason you don't trust her?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): Who is the profile under? Your girlfriend or her brother?
You have to subscribe to the dating-site; and have an active account before you have access to contact anyone. If all you can see are pictures; then there is probably no active account. She is telling the truth. Her brother can still look at all the handsome faces and read the profiles; but most of the time they're not even real subscribers, if all you have is access to profile pictures. Sites offer you previews to profiles but no contact. This is their marketing ploy.
You are being both insecure and paranoid. If you've checked the computer and saw only pictures, you should have seen her profile.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): Ask your gf, there are many, many possibilities here. It may be he likes to look at the profiles and is able to write his own based on what they do. Maybe he just likes looking. Maybe it's your gf. Who knows, but you've been with this girl a year, you should be able to say to her that you find it strange and if you're being honest - your first thought is it is her using her brother as an excuse. Be honest with her if you suspect her of something and give her the chance to explain.
If she's done other things over this year that have made you suspicios I would guess this relationship isn't too healthy or that great for either of you. If she hasn't, and you have no evidence that would support her cheating or looking to cheat and you frequently jump to conclusions then I would say you're being paranoid. But we don't know your gf or relationship, you either ask her brother as you could openly say you're worried it is her and would rather know - or you go to her. Be sure to ask calmly and keep things calm while talking, you don't want to start off aggressively or with confrontation as she will automatically go in to defence mode. Just bring it up on conversation and see what she says and how she reacts.
...............................
|
