A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:3 months ago.. I had a massive crush on this guy. i initiated contact [emailed him].. and he eventually asked for my number and suggested we meet. we did.. and it went really well [or so i thought]... but he never called me after that and didn't even reply my email that i sent him a month ago [just saying hi.. nothing else]. after about 4 weeks of waiting for him to call me, i realised he wasnt into me. I have had such a hard time getting over him... even losing weight over it among other things!! I even sent him a "just saying hi" email 4 weeks ago and he didn't even reply that. so i decided to really let go and painfully move on. So finally i feel like am in a good place.. then i bump into him at the airport yesterday. i hadnt seen him...and was busy having a conversation with my sister who i had just picked up from the airport and we were on our way out.. when i heard someone call my name. i turn and notice he was standing right there and i was going to walk right past him. when i turned to look at him he was smiling from ear to ear [which seemed like he was happy to see me]. i was cordial, said my hellos... he even introduced himself to my sister... but i pretended that i was in such a hurry and walked off quickly after the initial hellos. Now i feel a tad confused. he seemed so happy to see me [beaming] and just eager to ask lots of questions. my sister even noticed. she kept asking me "how i knew that guy" and later she joked around saying " you probably go out on dates with him alot".. and i hadnt said anything to her about him for her to assume that i knew the guy more than just a hi person . clearly he exuded such unexplained happiness at seeing me that it was obvious to other people. if i was alone, i would have thought it was just all in my head. Question is: why would a guy who clearly doesnt want to be with me [as he never called after the initial meeting], be so excited to see me? does it mean anything? i am probably reading too much into it.. but i really really liked him... and it has taken me a long while to accept the fact that he will never be my man. I wouldnt want to get my hopes up again... if theres nothing there. Is there something? what does his excitement to see me mean?
View related questions:
crush, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2012):
 Precisely : that was his way to say " See how NOT embarassed I am, and how I think there's nothing to feel guilty about , I am even calling out to you first ". He was playing it cool, that is a rather common reaction, and the fact that you would not adopt it,so you don't understand it ,does not make it less common.
" That shit hurts "? yes, a little, maybe- but- now let's not get carried away and let's not turn a dating misshap into a major life tragedy OK ? :)
Remember that the guy is only guilty of a breach of etiquette , and some people would not even agree with me on that, because they don't feel it's mandatory to reply each and any text from whomever.
The guy has no fault if you had a massive crush on him. You initiated contact and piqued somewhat his curiosisty, which prompted him to suggest a date, i.e. to give you a chance. A date is a date- a chance to have a closer look to another person, not a committment to match that person's feelings and attraction. You THOUGHT he was into you, but he wasn't and you can't blame him if you misjugded the situation / the extent of his interest.
It was just a date , with a semi-stranger, and for some reason it did not work. It sucks,- and it happens all the time; it should NOT cut so deeply since you barely knew the guy and it's not as if he had promised you anything.I understand that it still bothers you ,being a pinprick to your pride, but it's something you can get over , and very fast too, if you stop dwelling on it .
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012): Maybe he liked the look of your sister and wanted an introduction. I wouldnt waste anymore time overthinking this. He didnt contact you after your date There will be loads more that will
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@CindyCares.. i would have preferred if he had chosen option 1: pretended not to have seen me. because the truth is.. he saw me first and called me out. i hadnt seen him.. and i would have easily bypassed him without him having to worry about me noticing him. so i dont understand why he was so eager to call me out!!! coz i have had a similar experience where i acidentally ran into a guy who had aggressively pursued me but i wasnt interested in and had ignored his advances. when i saw him i made a split second decision to hide.. coz i was just so embarrased to face him[ i realised i did treat him like crap]. what i have learnt is from this experience is that karma is a bitch and i need to do to others what I want to be done to me... coz its bad enough that am trying to get over him... i didnt see the point of him seeking me out. Bottom line is... that shit hurts!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (8 April 2012):
He was not excited- he was being smooth.
He knows that you liked him, and that you tried to make contact, and that he should at least have said " hi " back. Instead he totally ignored you , and he figures you must have felt bad, or piqued , about it.
So , he bumps into you at the airport. Slightly embarassing moment. He has two possible reactions : 1 ) turn his head the other way, dodge you somehow, pretend he hasn't even seen you... 2 ) or, smoother option, act all social and debonair and delighted ,it's like " See ? Nothing happened. I did you drop like a hot potato, but... nothing personal. And it was such a trifle ! No big deal, right ? "
...............................
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (8 April 2012):
 You're reading too much into his actions. A smile doesn't mean he was excited to see you, he was being polite.
He's not into you. Move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (8 April 2012):
 It could have been a form of embarrassment. He was bad to you, so was overly nice when he saw you. Guys are weird and fXXcked up like that.
I would be aggravated by his behaviour, as well. I would send him the following email:
So. You gave every impression of being delighted to see me. And yet ... are strangely silent. Why don't we talk?
... but probably the sensible answer is to just forget him. It doesn't matter how pleased he seemed - he still hasn't emailed you. That is a no-brainer in the male mind. To the female mind, I know, it is a challenge. It requires persistence, and attention. To guys, it means: forget it. No go.
Even if you did send him the above email, I imagine he would just not reply, however strongly he was tempted.
Forget ... move on ... there are zillions of men in the world ...
...............................
|
