A
male
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*elboy1681
writes:Why wont my fiance tell her parents or her daughters daddy that she is engaged?I have been with my fiance for just over 8 months now and i knew from the first moment that i met her that she was who i was going to spend the rest of my life with and of course we have our problems like everyone else, she found out that she was pregnant to her best freind who she says was just a one night stand 6 months after the event, but i love her daughter like she was my own child and i nearly got put on a credit black list because i went guarantor for her mobile phone contract but i still love her to death but i cant help wondering if there is something going on with her best freind (who just happens to be the babies daddy) or there was because she is very relucant to tell him that she is getting married or even has a boyfriend and when i broach the subject she quickly changes it and she also wont tell her parents that she is getting married either. i dont want to loose her so has anyone got any sugestions on why she is acting like this. i would be most grateful for the help
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reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 I'm not saying this is the same but reading your post made me remember this situation with my friend that was engaged to a fantastic guy that would do anything for her and he wanted to love, cherish and spend the rest of his life with her, she saw him as an easy touch and used that to her advantage... mobile phone contracts in his name, whenever she wanted something she asked he brought it, she also kept their relationship and engagement to him a secret with only a few people knowing about it and all along she was still with her ex, not sure the intensity of the relationship with her ex but I do know there was something going on there. Like I said this maybe a completely different situation to yours, with completely different reasons behind it.
I think you need to talk to her and tell her you love her and want to spend your life with her but the fact she isn't forthcoming with telling people about you and the engagement is worrying you and you just want to know why this had become such a big secret.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (26 September 2006):
 Hi Delboy,
My answer probably isn't what you want to hear, but I think I have some pretty valid things you should think about:
Well, my opinion is that she may not be ready to get married yet. I can't see someone who was thrilled about their future wanting to hold back any plans.
Have you asked her about it? I mean like a serious discussion to let her know that it's bothering you. Regardless of what the reason is, you need to know because when someone keeps something like this a secret, it's usually not good.
If she refuses to talk about it, I say wait a bit longer before getting married, and go back to just being boyfriend/girlfriend. Do you really want to be engaged to someone who can't open up to you, who has to hide things from you, and who has to hide YOU?
My gut feeling is that she cares for this best friend of hers and doesn't want to make him upset. But she probably has the same strong feelings for you and is caught in the middle. She might need some time alone. But if you give her space, her baby's daddy might step in and assume the role of more than just a friend...
Whatever it is, it needs to be addressed asap. If you two aren't happy now and there are already secrets and lies, then what's the say what married life would be like?
Take care.
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