A
male
age
30-35,
*JGumm
writes:My girlfriend and myself have been together for 6 months now and we are very happy together. Now Monday we were on a date and she got a call that her mom was arrested, and things between us haven't been the same... normally we text through out the day and i call her once at night and see her as often as i can. Since monday i have received only a handful of replies to the texts i sent her and haven't talked to her on the phone since then either. We tried to make plans to see each other but she changed her mind and didn't want to go out. I understand that she must be going through allot and i respect that, i just wish that she would talk to me and let me help her through it because my own life is starting to spiral downward due to the fact that im so worried about her that i can't seem to focus on anything else like my job, my family, nor do i care about my college classes picking up in a few weeks... anyone care to offer some words of advice that will help me pull not only her through this problem but myself as well.(I know it sounds like a very small problem that time is sure to cure, but i just can't focus on anything else and need the advice of others)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (29 July 2010):
 As a man, there is one way you can help a girl through hard times. You have to be the rock, the one who appears unaffected on the outside. She will complain to her girlfriends first, if she doesn't hold it inside, but seeing you stay strong but quietly concerned will give her the strength to get through it.
Focus on classes and work. She needs to see that even when her world is shaken up, you can remain focused on the day-to-day matters.
She *may* tell you all about it sometime. If so, remain strong, stoic, and offering your quiet support. Listen quietly, and hold her when she's done, but you're not one of her female friends, so don't break down and ask her about every detail. Take what she gives you.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 She's probably embarrased and wants to deal with this privately. All you can do is tell her you are there for her whenever she needs you and then back off and leave her to it. Take deep breaths when you feel wound up and focus on something calm to quell your panic.
You'll be ok and you will get through this.
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