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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has been lying to me for the past...I dont know about all the time. She always try to snoop up stuff to see if I'm cheating and I'm not. I love this woman with all of my heart but she doesn't see that this one thing along with other stuff is killing me inside and messing up what we have. Now my past isn't pretty but I left all that behind, but she doesn't think so. She would rather believe any female that comes up to her and say that me and that person did something than believe me when she finds out the truth. Now don't get me wrong, if the shoe was on the other foot yes I would be pissed but if she has proof the same way I do when these thing pop up, i would believe her if the facts are correct. but nooooooooooooooooooooo. She wants to hold it over my head and bring it up over and over and over again even when the conversation is over.I love her but I can't take the abuse. My thing is don't accuse me of doing something when im not. That's not me anymore. I want her but if she doesn't stopI am afraid that we will not be together anymore. help please before I lose my heart. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Starr, writes (12 February 2005): Why is it that she feels this way?Maybe if you try to talk to her and understand her feelings about the situation,it may help the both of you deal better.Im sure she's not trying to hurt you but she may feel that she needs to protect her heart.Just give it some time and continue to show her that she is the only one for you and you don't want any one else if she is worth trying to keep in your life.
A reader, Kiv, writes (6 February 2005): First, why have you changed (for the better)? Was it for her? Second, what do you want out of your relationship with her? Is it headed for marriage? Depending on what your past was like, it may take her some time to believe/trust you. That's understandable. But it sounds like she's gone beyond that, and just won't let go. Obviously, your relationship has issues of trust. She has issues of insecurity as well, or may just feel insecure with you. Is your relationship with her worth fighting for? If so, communication is the only way to get past this. Be completely open and honest about what's happening and how it is effecting your relationship. Do not threaten or give ultimatums. People get defensive and throw up walls when you do. Is there anything in your current behavior that MIGHT be suspicious? Do you go out clubbing all night without her? Do you miss her calls when you should be available? If so, and if this relationship is something you want, you might want to go out of your way to help her build up a sort of "comfort zone." I'm in a long distance relationship and trust is everything. I remind her of my commitment to her every day, and I tell her everything I do. For better or for worse. If it still doesn't work out, perhaps it's in both your best interests to call it quits. That's not always a bad thing. It's better to find happiness apart than to force misery on each other. Hope this helps . . .
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