A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My SO and I are in a LDR and of late, we have been having problems with communication. Two days ago, I told him I have some stuff for us to discuss when he comes on IM and he suddenly said he's not coming on IM because he has some stuff he has to sort out. I asked him if he wants to talk about it and he said no. I then made a comment that when we met, he used to be able to talk to me about everything. He sent a rather abrupt reply back that I'm debating and pointing to details instead of listening to what he is saying that he needs which is peace and quiet because he has something to sort out and I'm making it about me. I apologised and told him to take care of himself and I haven't heard from him since. I don't know how to react now. I feel really upset. I don't understand why he can't discuss the problem with me so we can knock our heads together. In my mind, it's like if he won't or can't discuss it with me, maybe he's discussing it with somebody else. :( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): I think you do need to give him space, and be patient, i know its hard, but he will talk when he's ready. Id say this is just how he deals with problems, which seems to be very imature.If he doesnt contact you in a couple of days, maybe just send him a nice message asking if everything is ok, if he is ok, and if he wants to talk that your there for him, and leave it at that. I wouldnt metion yourself or how you feel at that point, but if he contacts you after that then tell him how you felt. If he doesnt I would say move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Back off until he feels comfortable sharing it. Guys are not good at communicating, sharing problems etc, they sometimes view this as weakness. If u pressure him to communicate, he'll just push u further away. What he's doing though is selfish, damaging and inconsiderate, he's avoiding the one thing that keeps relationships healthy. Communicating!!! I would let him know how I feel when he finally decides to talk..
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