A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've finally gotten closer to my guy friend and flirting was so casual that I never noticed he was hinting at me, but he tells me he likes me and thats it. I don't understand him. He calls me babe, we can act like a couple, we constantly flirt, and we've been friends for a very long time.. Why does he still not want to ask me out or "not want a girl"? I understand that he had a tough relationship with his last girlfriend while I was having one too and she still wants him back but he admitted to me that he doesn't want anything to do with her. I also realize he plays sports and is now working, but he's said the same thing to me before. Does he just not want to be with me, but doesn't want me with anyone else or does he not want to risk our friendship since he's told me he doesn't want to lose me? Ahh, I'm so confused! Someone explain to me :( I'm going crazy over here.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): Well I think that in a case like this it should be all or nothing but times can sort out anything. I don't think it's right for him to just mess around with you without making some sort of committment but you know him better than me. I just think that being in an actual relationship might be exactly the same as what he's doing now. If he seems like he's hesitant than you may want to try something. Since it's driving you crazy like this, often the best thing to do in my opinion would be to get it off my chest one way or another before you really do get fed up with it all or it just dies down. If you have a friend that can be your little bridge to him without him knowing that might help a lot. Just be sure they won't tell him that they're questioning him cause you put them up to it unless you really want him to know but if you want him to I think you should talk personally. There's always a risk of it damaging your friendship but I mean doing nothing could be just as bad
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): Ok, so what if I do confront him? I'm afraid that it would bother him or something because today he said to me that by being playfully mean with me is his way of showing how much he cares and what not and that he doesn't tell anyone but me anything inside his head. I was being a bit rude to him like he is to me and so he told me this because he said he felt like I was trying to make him tell me what he feels, which he then added I should be glad that he tells me a bit of what it is like the fact that he likes me, but it's not enough but I also don't want him to tell me anything he doesn't want to. I fear things won't be the same after I talk to him. I know he cares about me and he says he doesn't want to lose me but he's misleading me, no question about it. I don't want to fall too far down because I know to be careful with these kind of things. Should I really confront him or just let time go by to see what's going to happen? I don't want to lose him either, he's my freaking best friend!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): Take the initiative! I was like that with my girlfriend. I was 17 and hadn't even had my first kiss but we had liked each other for about 3 months prior to her asking me out (I liked her for around 5 or 6 but she was with one of my friends...very confusing stuff). Get a friend to help (preferably one who is good friends with him). That should at least let you see into his head a little. He's acting nervous cause guys are dumb like that but just surprise him. My girlfriend wrote in huge letters around my car "will you go out with me" at the mall and it scared me half to death but it worked. Don't come on too strongly and let him answer himself but don't leave without one. even if he says no or refuses to answer for anything it will give both of you time to figure things out. Guys get confused often and sometimes the best thing you can do is to at least approach him in a subtle way and figure out what he thinks about actually being a couple. Again don't make a huge deal about it but if you like him that much I would say a rejection is better than just letting everything go to waste but overall the call is yours. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, showoff201 +, writes (25 June 2010):
Yeah! Let me start by sayin u have an awesome female intuition! You probably came up with a solution in ur head but you need some sorta closure! Thats what Im here to give you. Im 80% sure that he still loves his Ex and he "might" not be interested in rushing things with you... or he likes doin the single life thing! You have 2 options!
1. Confront him
2. Ignore him
Don't continue to allow him to flirt and manipulate you if he's not interested fully! Take action and find out if this guy is genuine!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): He wants to be with you but he's not sure how it will work out. he wants everything to be OK. any guy will not go for a relationship because you are friends and for them there's a good reason. they would rather be friends and like you than go out with you and loose you because no matter what after its over it'll never be the same. you guys need to talk. ASAP. GOOD LUCK :)
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