A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:We've been together for 3 months now, and when we're alone, he always kisses me, and hugs me, cuddles me, and tells me he loves me. But when we're out and about, he doesn't do any of that - he'll only hold my hand when I hold his first, and he doesn't respond to my hugs in public or anything. It's really frustrating me, and I asked him about it, but he just shook it off as if it's no big deal. He said that it shouldn't matter anyway and that I was obviously more concerned about what other people saw us doing, than how actually wanting to interact with him.He's older than me by two years (I'm 16), so I can't work out if I'm being too needy, and appearing to him like a silly needy teenage girl...What's going on? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 June 2012):
 PDA (public displays of affection)doesn't mean you LOVE someone more.
Not everyone wants to "share" that with the world. They want to save it for when they are in private. And it might be a BIG thing for him to even hold your hand.
He might be a little shy. He might be showing everyone that he RESPECTS you and doesn't feel a need to show people what he likes to do with you in private.
I'm not a huge fan of PDA myself. I don't need to snog my husband in public to show him that I love him. I don't need him to grope me or hug me in order for him to show ME that he loves me.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (13 June 2012):
I suspect that what’s going on is relatively easy to explain: your boyfriend is not keen on public displays of affection, lots of people aren’t. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love their partner, or are embarrassed by them. They just think that acts such as kissing are intimate, private moments. What’s more, a lot of people find it awkward to be around couples who are all over each other. Your boyfriend is probably one of those more private people. Do you really need him to get physical in public? Why is this so important? If it’s because you want to feel confident that he has strong feelings for you, once you realise that there are plenty of reasons why people avoid public affection that have nothing to do with not being committed to the relationship, you won’t need that reassurance any more. My advice: stop worrying about this, accept that this is about him being a more private person, and concentrate on making your private time together special.
I wish you all the very best.
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