A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend of 1 year who is 33 and I am 29 . He masturbates in bed next to me when he thinks I am asleep or if I am awake he quickly goes to the bathroom. Once he does the deed, then he will say sweet things oh i miss you, oh i love you. We have sex only once a week. I know you don't have to have sex all the time, but why does he prefer that with himself and then compliments me afterwards? Does he feel guilty or something? (I have mentioned this to him and he got upset and said he doesn't know what I am talking about and does it more in the bathroom.)P.S. We don't live with each other yet, just see each other on weekdays and weekends and I stay over for the weekend. You would think after not seeing me all the time he would want more.Is it I am not his type? or not that into me or doesn't like something about the intimacy?About me , I am skinny and in shape. I know I am attractive just never encountered this before when in a relationship.It is kinda confusing . heh Thanks for reading my post, yeah it is embarrassing for me to write this lol. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for your time :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2017): Masturbation is different from sex. A lot of men want to masturbate even when they have a willing partner nearby. You should just accept that he wants to masturbate sometimes and not be worried about it.
What you should talk about is the frequency of sex. Is once a week not enough for you? Even if he doesn't want to have a 'full session' more than once a week, maybe he'd be willing to go down on you 1 or more other times a week?
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2017): Thanks for the advice , it helps - from the poster :)
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (28 July 2017):
 Confusing? " We don't live with each other yet, just see each other on weekdays and weekends "Instead of I getting into all the thing about him skipping off to the bathroom for a quick handjob, he might have preconceived ideas and think women are not able for as much sex as men, Men think they are up to a lot of sex until they met a woman that is up to a lot of sex, then they have a job keeping up and you are in your prime, Why not jump his bones, when you're awake and you feel him beside you starting to move, get hard or what ever the thing is that makes you think he jumps out of bed for a run to the bathroom, As it looks like you want more sex than your getting there is nothing wrong with the woman taking the lead. After all that, I will repeat myself even though he does not want to admit his masturbating to you, communicate your feelings and desires and ask him his, Build trust, be more confidence to initiate sex, If he wants to play with himself it has nothing to do with how he feels about you, and it is a good thing that at another point that he is not expecting you to make your self an object for his fun or pleasure but better doing that away from where you are I think as I would not do it in bed beside my wife, when I feel she is not up to it or for it,and she sometimes has her urges at times that I am not up to it,
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 July 2017):
 I imagine he believes you can't give him the quick release he needs. He doesn't want to go into full blown and lengthy sex with you. He just needs release. It is a characteristic of men.
You can do that for him but he might not feel able to ask you. When you catch him at it then take over for him. See if that works.
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