A
female
age
26-29,
*oupar
writes:I am 19,n really want to give my sort of step mom some good advice caz shes been askin my opinion. You see we are like best friends, shes been there for me for 5 yrs.She married her 1st boyfriend right outa high school, is now devorised n has been living with the 2nd my dad now for 5yrs. He treats her horribly n she knows hes cheating on her but says we should be thankful for having a roof over our heads. The other day i saw her with my dads brother-we were at a get together. As always when he is around he has my mom laughing n smiling,they got a great connection,hes always flirting with her n my dad just don't seem to care. Everybody includen' my gramps will tell you that there's serious love n sexual tension between mom n "bro" n its getting worse. the other day her n i were discussing the fact that she has some serious feelings for "bro",she said they wont act on their love caz they don't want to hurt anyone-that anyone is us kids. I think shes just a filler for my dad/he uses her to take care of us kids while he does what he wants. i think the only ones bro and her are hurting are themselves. Don't get me wrong I know my 1/2 sister by her is 5 n that she wouldnt understand but we think my step mom deserves better then my dad. So my question is: In a relationship is being with someone for the kids sake more important then being with someone you love? (Or is the love she has for us kids more important then the love of her life...I'm confused).
View related questions:
best friend, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, coupar +, writes (4 August 2017):
coupar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for taking the time for me. Many thanks. (Our familys going to grams n gramps for a 2 week much needed vacation. No computer there.I think getting away is going to do us all great.)Best of luck to u all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2017): You can be as civil as you like or you can ignore them!
Its up to you.
No point kicking off on him though because you got your own life to live and now that he's moved on he is not your problem anymore.
...............................
A
female
reader, coupar +, writes (31 July 2017):
coupar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo be civil or not??? Truth comes out!!!
Saw my dad in town when i went to pick up my paycheck. at this moment i have no respect for him. He came up to me asking for my blessing and congrats of his new engagement to his 8 month pregnant girlfriend and invited me to stop at their house sometime-He admitted they have owned it for the last year in the next town over. he kept going on and on about how happy he was that hes devorisen my stepmom. Am i subpose to be civil to them--My mouth certainly wasn't as I told her how happy i was that she gets to keep the cheater. While our family was going through ruff times my dad was out paying for his girlfriends mortgage. I'm sorry if im acting like a kid here but is it ok to hate him? is it ok to feel that he cheated us? We had to go without while she got a house. I'm pisst, I don't know if I should stoop to his level and dish it out to him as he has always done to me or next time just try to ignore them and walk away. Is it ok that I dont want to be friends with my dad n his girlfriend?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2017): It all seems a bit too good to be true! You managed to catch dad cheating in the company of your folks and they are doing the kicking out!This sounds perfect and I hope your cheating dad doesnt come back trying to plead his innocence.Maybe your uncle/bro will help to see him off.If you want a happy end just keep praying that dads new girlfriend is demanding enough to want him all to herself. If you put it like that it sounds like you are doing them a favour by kicking him out.I know what its like to live under the bully boy roof but thats another story, so I also know how the mice play and the music gets sweeter when the cats away!I hope the cat is busy taking a long hike and you get a bit of well deserved harmony.Dont feel as though you've lost two people because both your dad and your ex will be back when they want something from you or the house!Remember you found the strength of two people in your gram and gramps and this more than makes up for those flakers!
...............................
A
female
reader, coupar +, writes (29 July 2017):
coupar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy grandfather caught me reading the responses you all left for me. Gramps and gram just said we'd talk later about it. Him and gram came out to visit because they wanted to help me get over my cheating bf-that i dumped last night. I didn't realize my boyfriend was treating me how my dad treats the woman in his life. With help and advice from people that care from here-I decided i didn't want to be something i wasn't.
Anyways, Sense my step mom was working today, they took us down into town for lunch-pizza. Guess who was there, my dad with his girlfriend. Gramps and gram are fumin' told my dad to get out-gram n gramps own the house we live in. Gram told him Come morning he will find his stuff in the front ditch if hes not out by midnight.
Wealthy Gramps n gram says we are staying with my step mom in the house we are living in and they will help file for custody of my younger sisters. I called uncle bro to come out to the house later. Tho my dad has never hit us he has a very bad temper and we are all afraid of him.
Boy is my step mom going to be surprised when she gets home from work.
(Right a piece of me feels like i just lost 2 people i really loved, the other part of me is thinking that me, my sisters n step mom are better off without them.)
...............................
A
female
reader, coupar +, writes (29 July 2017):
coupar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy grandfather caught me reading the responses you all left for me. Gramps and gram just said we'd talk later about it. Him and gram came out to visit because they wanted to help me get over my cheating bf-that i dumped last night. I didn't realize my boyfriend was treating me how my dad treats the woman in his life. With help and advice from people that care from here-I decided i didn't want to be something i wasn't. Anyways, Sense my step mom was working today, they took us down into town for lunch-pizza. Guess who was there, my dad with his girlfriend. Gramps and gram are fumin' told my dad to get out-gram n gramps own the house we live in. Gram told him Come morning he will find his stuff in the front ditch if hes not out by midnight. Wealthy Gramps n gram says we are staying with my step mom in the house we are living in and they will help file for custody of my younger sisters. I called uncle bro to come out to the house later. Tho my dad has never hit us he has a very bad temper and we are all afraid of him. Boy is my step mom going to be surprised when she gets home from work. (Right a piece of me feels like i just lost 2 people i really loved, the other part of me is thinking that me, my sisters n step mom are better off without them.)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): She is very firmly rooted into your family and it seems to be quite tight knit!She may see it as being worse off with her bro in law because your dad may go ballistic and destroy everything you all hold dear.Maybe everything seems nice when dad has gone off to town but the changes you are talking about have a film type of happy ending and in real life it may be the start of another dark tunnel.So for now just enjoy the good times while you can and if dad is just a selfish bully boy who is courting in town you could just hope he fixes himself up with a richer woman and deserts you all, leaving little bro to pick up the pieces!Did dad ever abuse you because if he did and you think little sis is at risk , you could tell step mom and put him behind bars for a very long time!But that is a very sad situation for you if he got away with it for so long!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): No matter what decision she makes u should be supportive. She sounds like a good mom whom loves her kids very much. Moms have a habit of always trying to be there for there children...and even if she goes im sure she always will be there for u all. Written by a mom
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (28 July 2017):
 Listen but don't presume to advise. Having someone to talk to will help her sort things out in her head. But offering solutions won't help. She has to arrive at her own decisions by herself, but possibly with your help, by being a good listener, she will get there.
...............................
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (28 July 2017):
 IS is hard for us to respond to someone that is giving their story and letting out the other side, as you would imagine if we could do Gerry Springer on it and get the two sides to fight it out here, it might change the story from the story we get told first, But your story is about 2 other people one of which is your dad and the other step mother, With you in the middle.This is your father that seems to be using this woman as free or cheap day-care, This puts you in the worst place as he is your dad and is showing you bad example, He would not be the first to do what he is doing, why he is so bad to your step mother we don't know, she seems to have no place to go if she walks out on him and she has a very good connection with you, I will run this by you, If you put it to her to get a divorce he would have to pay child support and if she can give proof that he is playing around, she might even get the house or you could get a place with her, but this does not take into account if you are still in school or not and if you have a job, and if she has a job, if she has not she needs to start looking,
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2017): Let's just say.....whatever your stepmom is doing is with your best interests in mind. Your dad (no offence) is utterly useless. She is stuck with him for your sake.
Now this may sound rude and stuff, but does your dad's bro have a good income (enough to support you)? 'Cause if he does, why not? Tell her to go ahead and dump your dad for his bro. After all, it's not like you are going to miss him or anything. And she herself said that she stays with him so that she has a roof over head. His bro could provide that roof too.
...............................
|
