A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are very comfortable with each other. We've been together for 4 years. We have a healthy sex life. I have one question though, he's seen every part of me, we've experimented with different things and positions... and yet he still won't let me lick his anus. why? Sometimes he makes it seem like he's ready to let me, and see what it feels like. I just tell him I want to make him feel good, like he makes me feel good. He replies by saying he's gross. To which I say... I love everything about you, nothing will ever be gross.
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male
reader, AlyasSmyth +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Most were good answers... in one aspect or another… If he really objects to the licking for the microorganisms that are present (and not just keeping his straight mental image protected)... Light persuasion might be the answer. A different approach is definitely the way… and learn the measure of negotiation. Don’t try the guilt trip… it’s a male turn off.The shower is sometimes the most innocent approach... wash what is pleasing, and enlighten him from that aspect. He may get to enjoy the millions of nerve endings, which at the moment anyway are taboo, from the innocence of a shower. After all… “IT” is being washed, sanitized (mentally) and played with at the same time. A little oral enticement in front, as you wash behind him? Hey… things may progress. This is not a new… Uhhhhh… activity (in different forms its uses date back to the Ming Dynasty in Ancient China as a health measure, Back to the Buddhist and Hindu culture as a spiritual healing and who knows why in the sexual deviances of the Pharaohs and Roman times).Another thing to consider.. IF he is still young (indifferent to me) he might gain special insight.The Straight Male’s “Mind’s Eye”… is to the MAN, what keeps your advances at bay… It’s not what you see of feel or wish to excite… it’s what HE SEES, as him… like the doctor’s statements “we don’t see “IT” that way”… yes they do, but it relaxes some patients, to allow their [the doctor’s] violations. He sees himself NAKED in the Doctor’s office, as much as he mentally sees this “rimming “as homosexual, and that is something he will defend to his death. So… take the homosexual away from the equation. You like oral sex from him to you? Does he orally entice you in bed or anywhere? That once was seen as being a lesbian… You aren’t! Does he enjoy a good tasting? Not too long ago that was homosexual. He isn’t! This is just a social/sexual advancement of the same proportions.Your approach, in his mind, is homosexual… only homosexuals enjoy, or even allow such a practice. The same with prostate massaging a wonderful DOCTORS ONLY practice (if you listen to doctors, and just who is going to pay, for no pleasure, rather than get the same healthful massage, and be allowed to fully enjoy?). A real mind blowing experience for the man, and a chance for the “feminine” to be totally… “in charge”! “IN CONTROL!” The Giver! He will be pleasured… when YOU re-educate him, from that man of old times, to the man of NOW! Still a straight, loving, family man… just one that now… hurries home, for your giving time, his receiving time. AND Then; Find the things you would love for him to pleasure YOU with (he’ll be quite receptive to ideas)… like learning to properly, correctly massage that “little bud” of yours… the one he doesn’t know exists?Your challenge is to change the way he sees things… from a straight man’s perspective, to that of an advanced, open minded male… “NOT HOMOSEXUAL” (and keep away from the “woman’s side” of the man… a real turn off!) Given the push for Prostate Exams these days… this new advance of yours, might even ease his decision to “drop’m” at the doctor’s office (for that matter, getting him there)… and give him a better mind’s eye” of being violated… D’Uh… BACK-THERE! See? You are already helping with his future health, and giving him more time to be with you… and a healthier sex life as well. Hope this hasn’t trailed off too much. Alyas Smyth
A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 He's probably grossed out like he said and would prefer you NOT to lick his anus. (I can understand that, because girl; you are the only person I've ever known who's wanted to do that!)
If it makes him uncomfortable, don't push it, obviously your sex life is okay the way it is now, so there's no need!
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A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Okay, seriously now, your boyfriend probably feels just as disgusted by what you're suggesting. He doesn't want your pretty mouth in a place he feels has no sexual thrill for him, a place he only uses for the necessary dispensing of excrement.You should be quite happy about that. He's almost certainly not gay, and the prospect of you ever getting your cheeks puffed out by an accidental fart is pretty much nil. (Trust me on this. No matter how much you love him, an incident like that could make your eyes water!)I, much like your bf, don't like my butt touched, poked, prodded, kissed or licked. If my woman insisted on licking it, I'd probably wash it well and let her do it (as long as no penetration was part of that deal). However, I wouldn't enjoy it at all. It would be a bit of a sacrifice for my lover. And I'd even have a tough time kissing her afterward. So, if he ever does allow you to toss his salad then I suggest rinsing with Scope before thanking him with a kiss.Finally, a good way to get him to do it is to tell him the truth. You want to try it, and that if it makes him feel homophobic and disgusted--well, to be a good lover and to please you, he's just going to have to get over that somehow. Suggest that he scrub it well, shave it if he has to, get drunk, take a rufi, turn stomach down on the bed and submit to your demands by taking a good licking. Promise him that you will resist the temptation to penetrate, but tell him you would like to do that too--if that's also your bag--but that you will not do it if he doesn't want that done.Also, there is a technique for making a man have a very satisfying and intense orgasm by using a finger up the anus during oral sex. (For those men who can tolerate the finger being up there in the first place). The prostate gland, where mostly all the semen is stored, sits right in front of the anus at the base of the penis. If that is pressed properly just before and during an orgasm (timing is everything) it purges the prostate, pushing much more fluid in a single, gargantuan shot. That's an enticing lure for a guy, and he may agree to try that if you educate him on the happy prospects. Tell him you'll go slow, but giving him an explosion like that is your goal. He just might allow you to get your wish.Good luck with the education process. I hope it works out for both of you.And the dog too... which you should leave out of this. (You did realize I was just joking about that right?)
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A
male
reader, dazednconfsed +, writes (22 June 2008):
Honestly, it's just not his thing. No matter how much you're gunna ask him, it's more than likely not going to happen unless you did it in his sleep! but dont do that! I would just leave it alone and if theres ever a day he wants to do then there ya go...
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Some people are just uncomfortable about anything that involves bodily functions. I would never lick my hubbies anus or let him lick mine yet we are adventurous in other ways. Its just down to personal choice and I doubt he will change his mind so I would stop asking him if I were you x
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 We all got our own limits, things we just don't want to do or be done.
It doesn't have to make sense surely there are things you wouldn't do? Google "two girls and a cup" for instance.
Not all people are into anal-rimming. If you want to do it for him what is the point if he doesn't want it? Do some light anal play with your fingers if he is up to it, maybe slowly he will change his mind but respect his wishes.
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A
female
reader, Katie138 +, writes (22 June 2008):
 It sounds as if this is just one of those things he is just not comfortable with, if I were you if he doesn't want it, don't try to push him into it, especially if your relationship and your sex life is healthy as it is at the moment, as they say don't rock the boat! :)
anyway good luck!!
x Katie x
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