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female
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anonymous
writes: A guy I went out on a date with constantly ends our converstions with "Call me if you want to hang out" or "Call me when you're free". I think if a guy wants to ask a girl out, he should just ask. I don't want to feel like I have to call him and ask him out. I've even told him to just call me when he wants to do something and we can make plans. Last converstion, we talked about getting together and then he says "call me when you're free" instead of just making a date. This is getting nowhere. Why is he doing this and how should I respond? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): [sigh]He is doing that probably because he is afraid of getting rejected for something he wants to do. At the same time, it's a self-esteem problem. He wants to feel someone like you needs/wants him. He doesn't want to look 'weak' like 'surrendering' himself to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006): I know exactly how you feel!!!! I WAS 'hanging out' with this guy and he used to say to me 'I'm not going to chase you' and 'call me if you want to do something', or the one that took the biscuit was texting me when he was drunk and wanted sex. I decided I was better than this and deserved more, and it sounds like you can do better than this guy, even if you like him, it may seem difficult to walk away but you won't be going around in circles anymore, and can spend the time looking for a decent guy, who actually likes you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, mountainmama +, writes (22 February 2006):
Well, because he is not that into you. Yes, this very issue was addressed in the book of the same title; "he is just not that into you if he is not asking you out." If he is asking you to do the legwork for him, then he is not diggin' on you like he should be. Believe me, if he was interested, he would be asking you out with no hesitation. He is not interested in dating you, but I doubt he would pass up the roll in the hay (that often comes with "hanging out" because women think it is the road to a relationship.) I would give this guy a pass because he is not interested enough to take your neon sign hint and run with it.PS..."hanging out" is not dating.
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