A
female
age
30-35,
*implyme1219
writes:I am seeing this guy but we are not dating. We have been seeing eachother for about 3 months now and recently talked about dating. He does not have a job and is on parole. He says he isn't stable enough for a relationship for those reasons. I have many guy who would like to date me and I tell them no. He has heard my phone conversations. I have a best friend who is a guy and he likes me a lot. He would do anything to please me but we are just friends. The guy I like tells me time and time again he won't be one of those guys and won't waste his time if I don't like him. He says he wants to make sure a relationship is what we both want because if he dates me he doesn't want it to be a 2 week or 2 month thing he wants it to try and make it last. We do have sex but are not with anyone else. We have sex maybe twice a week. He never asks for it. Should he want it more? Am I not good enough? Is he seeing someone else? Is the reason for dating an excuse? I have a very sexually abusive past and he knows it. He says the last thing he wants to do is hurt me. Is that why he won't date me? Should I push the dating thing? Please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): I think you are putting way too much pressure on this guy. He's just gotten out of jail! Let him get his life together first instead of all this ME ME ME stuff. Seriously, i would be a bit more adult about this and show him some understanding.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Perhaps you're not ready for a relationship either..Goodness.
If he says he's not ready for a relationship for those valid reasons then he means what he says. The man just left the big house of where he hasn't seen the light of day and lived in society for quite some time. Let him fix his life, get his ducks in a row and then he can add you to the equation. But that's going to take some time and he's not asking you to wait for him. He's not using you for sex because you're the one that wants it..of course he's a man he's not going to turn it down.
I suggest you calm down, stop being pushy and let him get his life in order. Stop having sex with him, because that's only going to confuse your emotions further. Wait till you two are in a relationship to engage in intercourse.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Jeez, woman, maybe you should try listening to what he is saying. He doesn't want to date you. He has his own issues that he wants to sort out. His issues have nothing to do with you and you should try to slow down and stop appearing so desperate. He seems to like you okay; shame you don't like yourself as much as he does.
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