A
female
age
30-35,
*eh2014
writes:I left my ex due to feeling taken for granted and when I brought that up I was blamed for trying to mess up the relationship. At that point I understood that he was not afraid to lose me. With all feelings for him still in my heart I broke up w/him. He was very passive during the break up and after I contacted him about my stuff, he poured out his heart to me and promised me a whole bunch of things that I knew were BS. Over the next 2 weeks I tried to message him about my stuff and that ended in him blaming me for using him and breaking his heart. I decided to give up on my things and I haven't messaged him in weeks. One time he sent me a message saying that he missed me and wished that things could have been different. I deleted the message w/no response. Last week he messaged one word messages on FB and through text. I deleted the messages w/out a response. What is he getting at? Does he hope I come running back to him?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): What counts is what a person does during the relationship; not what they tell you after you breakup. It makes no sense that some guy pours his heart out after the fact; when the reason you broke up is because he didn't demonstrate it when you were together. You're just having second-thoughts and feeding on the drama at this point. He's putting on the typical routine. Playing on your emotions and you're buying it.
I'm not sure why you submitted your post? Sounds like he's handed you a bucket of b.s. and you've bought it. Go back to him. This is how a pattern of back and forth starts.
You'll see what we've tried to tell you, the second time around. You'll take him back, he'll revert to his old ways; and then you'll breakup again.
I'm not talking out of my hat. I know how these things usually turn out. He said you messed it up. Did you?
A
female
reader, Meh2014 +, writes (28 October 2015):
Meh2014 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease don't assume I have a pattern of breaking up/coming back as this is the 1st and only time I will break up w/him. I loved him so much and he only poured out his heart to me 2 days after I broke up w/him, when in that week he had a couple chances to turn around our major arguments into working things out together.
...............................
A
female
reader, Meh2014 +, writes (28 October 2015):
Meh2014 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually this is the 1st and only break up w/him, I am done and never plan on going back.
...............................
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (27 October 2015):
Move on and never look back. You've learned a lot so take that with you. I hope the next guy you meet will cherish you and bring you the appreciation and happiness you deserve.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2015): He's playing on your emotions and trying to see if he can find a soft spot. That's an indication that you two have a cycle of brief break-ups and coming back together again.
He also may want to get you back, just long enough to get the strength to dump you; after finding your replacement.
You've done right by going no-contact. You have to sort out your own feelings and emotions right now. Relationships work best when they're give and take. When actions speak louder than words. Everyone has regrets after a breakup and you will second-guess yourself many times over. You'll hurt and you'll miss him. Go over the bad times as much as your mind tries to make you see the good. That's what regret does, makes you think you've made mistake. When you know deep down inside you did the right thing for yourself.
Pity for him isn't going to change him any.
If you were really fulfilled and satisfied with that relationship, you never would have broke-up in the first place. That's a big step. It's really painful when you still have feelings for that person; but what's the point if those feelings are not reciprocated? Oh, his male ego isn't going to like being rejected; but he had a chance to prove himself. He'll plead a good case and criminalize you.
My guess is he's good for a bit, then back to things as usual. If you're so terrible, why does he keep bothering you?
People never appreciate what they have, until they lose it.
Put yourself first. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. He said terrible things to get your attention and place you on the defensive. He can tell a stranger whatever he likes. How can they judge someone they don't even know?
...............................
|
